Does anyone in my age brackett feel like growing up is hard to do? I am 36 & still feel like I am 26. Well still feel like I am 26 in mind & spirit, not so much body. I had a great discussion with my friend Tex in the City this past Friday & we talked about what is going on in our lives. I always start with, "Well my life is really boring right now." Which in some parts are true. Don't get me wrong, I am having a blast with my husband and being a sort of semi-housewife, but for the most part I am very low key. You'll never hear about the time I got so drunk that....or you'll never hear about this fabulous gala I attended. I'm ok with that though. I am actually quitting my gym membership this week because I am trying to be true to my true self. I am a homebody at heart & would rather work out at home than go to the gym.
Anyway, I am asking about growing up. I once asked my dad what it felt like to be a grownup & he stated you never really do until your parents pass away. Well, for me that is NOT an option. I am secretly willing my parents to stay alive forever...That being said, and back to my conversation with Texlie, we talked about what is keeping us stuck. Or at least that was my end of the conversation :) I let her know that this struggle with weight is really hard for me. Most people have been overweight all their lives & then get in shape, but I am the opposite. I have been in great shape all of my life & then got fat :(. So to make a long story short, Texlie explained to me to something of the effect of surrendering to your higher self & not so much your higher power. And never give up! DING! OMG - that makes so much more sense. A long time ago, my therapist tried to get me to talk to my old self (i.e. where I am now) from my new self (where I want to be) & say to her what she thinks I should do. I didn't get that until Texlie said that. That statement alone has single handedly lifted a huge burden I had been carrying around on my shoulders for years. From that moment, I just ask myself - 'Truly, what would you as your higher self do?' My higher self would not be laying in bed sleeping half the day away!!! Or whatever. So essentially I feel it's about my growing up. I think at heart I will always & forever be free spirited & a kid, but that doesn't mean I won't be making decisions that better myself and lift my spiritual side up.
Health is an issue for me now & I have to say it's an uphill battle. I am made from a very different cloth & my body is sensitive to a lot of foods. I Had been staying away from meat for a month or so & I ate some last Sunday & I felt sluggish & yucky. I also had cheese too...Can I say something that is way too much TMI? Well I am going to anyway, I had the WORST body odor!!! It was embarassing. My body just couldn't process what I was putting into. So I started fresh this Monday & can I say that it's Motherfucking hard to get back in the saddle. There is no point in cheating myself because it only makes it that much harder to accomplish what my higher self keeps telling me to do. So, from here on out, mark my words, I will always adhere to what my higher self has to say :) I may not AGREE with her, but in the long run I know it'll be worth it.
I hope everyone is doing well. I am in transition yet again, but this time I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Peace & LOVE!
Asian
