Seriously, do you ever feel like you are living in a time when it's just not so sweet? I feel like that sometimes. I wish I wasn't here on earth at this time - maybe more like the Victorian era or something. I want to go back in time & live a more peaceful life. These days I feel like everyone is losing touch with what keeps basic human decency...well decent. I feel like our own country really is so politically corrected to death & it creeps me out how some people or even groups of people are so dogmatic about being just like them. I personally have been condemned to hell several times by Christians. Then I am like, that's not very Christian like. Would Jesus really want you to judge like that & wish ill will on other people? I think all religions are beautiful & I think that every one has a right to express the way they worship & how they choose not to worship. Fine by me :) Do what works for you, just don't push it on others.
Today we buried a dear old cousin of mine. His name was Ray. Raymond Kauffman & he was my Jewish Grandfather's first cousin. I have nothing but warm & fond memories of cousin Ray & I know I will miss him dearly. Since I was a little girl, my grand parents would throw Chanukkah parties & have Passover at their house. & Every year cousin Ray & my other cousins would gather at my grandparent's house & celebrate together. I feel like it's the end of an era. All that were of my grandfather's era are now deceased except one. We all stem from the Hannah Rachel Markewich family & I just feel a deep sadness that it's all going away. It's weird because I have never been religious, but today at cousin Ray's funeral, he was remembered & remembered so fondly. This is going to sound selfish, but I want to be remembered fondly. It made me want to start going to Temple again. I am moved to tears as I sit here & type because all it made me think is how I am just wasting time & things that truly are to be kept alive are slowly dying out as we advance in this world. I am at a job just to make extra cash, but I am not truly living how I want to. Literally a month ago to this day, we were all in Miami celebrating my little cousin's wedding & Ray was there alive & kicking it. He overcame having polio & is a very well respected member of the medical community. It truly is a matter of 'in an instant life can change'.
I tend to romanticize things, but I don't care. That's me & that's how I am. It's what I do & sometimes, just sometimes, life is actually like that. I have a new perspective on life & I hope that I am strong enough & passionate enough to follow it. I sit here & wish everyone well & hope you all had an amazing holiday with family & friends!
