Ok, so I had a bit of a rant about my evil in-laws in my last post. As a matter of fact it must have been a doozy because my friend Tex called me!! Thank God for friends!
I refuse to let their toxicity invade my life, so I think time will tell about how I actually get a grip on this. In reality, once the holidays are over I think I'll be able to focus better.
Anyway, I had a bit of a meltdown yesterday. It was one of those days where my energy was completely zapped & I slept for about 5 hours during the day. I cried because I hate this fatigue. I know I am slowly getting to the root of it, but when I am this exhausted it kills me & I get all bummed out.
Today is much better!!! I am hoping to get in a good walk & get moving. I really think it's all about moving around & exercising. But part of my meltdown is that I am really lacking in the self confidence department. I need to get a job but am too embarrassed to go get one. It's a phase I am going through & am hoping that it passes quickly. I also contribute these feelings to pms. I am on progesterone right now, but i have had good & bad days on it. Pfffffffffffft.
Hopefully, the sunshine will come back soon.
Peace out!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Dr. Grose
So I finally had my 3 hours long appointment with the Naturopathic dr. She is AWESOME. She totally reminds me of my mother if she were a dr. Have you seen The Incredibles? THAT's her! NO CAPES! Dr. Grose even has the same hair cut :) The cutest part about her is she had on the tiniest pair of Uggs I've ever seen. Ok, enough about how adorable she is & more about how awesome she is.
I was there for 3 hours because I got there early & then she didn't see me until an hour after my appointment. You know the table thingy you sit on when you walk in where they check your blood pressure, etc.? You don't sit there. You sit in a chair beside it & she pulls up her dr. stool & sits on the opposite side of you. At this point she puts your folder on the table & uses it as a desk. I keep thinking my Chinese grandmother is talking to me. Anyway, she goes over what is going on with me & then she grills you just like she's your mom. I explained that my GP wanted me on anti-depressant meds & she wanted to know why. PMS. It rules my life unfortunately. For example, today is the 16th & I should start on or around the 27th-31st. I am already wiped out. I went to boot camp this morning & my workout sucked ass because of the exhaustion. SO I get home & cannot keep my eyes open. I crashed until about 12:45 today.
Long story short, she said that the depression I am experiencing two weeks into my cycle is magnifying the already fatigue, depression, etc. because of elevated estrogen levels. Because I have elevated estrogen levels, then I am becoming insulin resitant & therefore having a hard time losing weight. Her basic conclusion is this in her own words (think sharp Asian voice): 'I don't think that exercise & getting you on a diet is going to work. What I hear from you is a person who has given up on life. You are YOUNG! You shouldn't be feeling this way at all. We have got to get your PMS under control - i.e. your hormones - & that will be the first step to making you feel better. If you trust me & let me prescripe some progesterone. I want you to take it this cycle & let's see how you feel.' *Note: The whole conversation we had about my fatigue & depression is long winded so I didn't include it, but that is where she got her conclusion about my giving up on life.
So she also wants me to go on a 10 day liver cleanse. Since I spent a million dollars on this particular cleanse, I plan on following through. However, my birthday is Sunday & I want to celebrate. Well & then there is xmas & new year's. I was thinking about starting the cleanse the day after my birthday, but I realized I am in the throes of my pms weeks. Probably not a good idea to start this until after my period starts. So I will post on how the progesterone does. Oh! It was awesome! What was awesome? The pharmacy I went to is a compounding pharmacy. I've never been to one of those before. Very interesting :)
Ok, that's it for now. Happy Days & Hugs to Everyone!!!
I was there for 3 hours because I got there early & then she didn't see me until an hour after my appointment. You know the table thingy you sit on when you walk in where they check your blood pressure, etc.? You don't sit there. You sit in a chair beside it & she pulls up her dr. stool & sits on the opposite side of you. At this point she puts your folder on the table & uses it as a desk. I keep thinking my Chinese grandmother is talking to me. Anyway, she goes over what is going on with me & then she grills you just like she's your mom. I explained that my GP wanted me on anti-depressant meds & she wanted to know why. PMS. It rules my life unfortunately. For example, today is the 16th & I should start on or around the 27th-31st. I am already wiped out. I went to boot camp this morning & my workout sucked ass because of the exhaustion. SO I get home & cannot keep my eyes open. I crashed until about 12:45 today.
Long story short, she said that the depression I am experiencing two weeks into my cycle is magnifying the already fatigue, depression, etc. because of elevated estrogen levels. Because I have elevated estrogen levels, then I am becoming insulin resitant & therefore having a hard time losing weight. Her basic conclusion is this in her own words (think sharp Asian voice): 'I don't think that exercise & getting you on a diet is going to work. What I hear from you is a person who has given up on life. You are YOUNG! You shouldn't be feeling this way at all. We have got to get your PMS under control - i.e. your hormones - & that will be the first step to making you feel better. If you trust me & let me prescripe some progesterone. I want you to take it this cycle & let's see how you feel.' *Note: The whole conversation we had about my fatigue & depression is long winded so I didn't include it, but that is where she got her conclusion about my giving up on life.
So she also wants me to go on a 10 day liver cleanse. Since I spent a million dollars on this particular cleanse, I plan on following through. However, my birthday is Sunday & I want to celebrate. Well & then there is xmas & new year's. I was thinking about starting the cleanse the day after my birthday, but I realized I am in the throes of my pms weeks. Probably not a good idea to start this until after my period starts. So I will post on how the progesterone does. Oh! It was awesome! What was awesome? The pharmacy I went to is a compounding pharmacy. I've never been to one of those before. Very interesting :)
Ok, that's it for now. Happy Days & Hugs to Everyone!!!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
It's all about Friends
So I know a blog is usually supposed to be about what's happening in your world, but I thought I'd take a moment & talk about my friend Becky. She & I have reconnected & it's been awesome! Even though we live states apart, we get to talk about nutrition & the craziness that surrounds the whole food & drug industry. We are strong as a unit per say in our beliefs about that, but that's not the only reason I am writing about Becky. By the way, here is her blog before I forget becky's blog.
Anyway, I really admire her. She stays at home with three boys & home schools them. One of her babies has food allergies & she is very good about making sure nothing harmful enters his little body. I truly appreciate & respect that & I find that people in general usually can't. I just read a post from her blog about going dairy free. It was posted last year, but it's a good one http://boysrulemylife.blogspot.com/2008/02/dairy-free-family.html! My point is this, why do people try to hate when someone makes a good decision about his or her health? It seems to me like it's such a backwards hillbilly way to look at things. I am sorry if you are a backwards hillbilly & this offends you, but you're an idiot & please go play in traffic. Why on God's green earth wouldn't you want to live a healthy & fulfilled life? ESPECIALLY if you are responsible for a child that enters this world & you want them to be healthy & happy.
Becky, even though I know you are strong & smart & a great mom & wife - I've got your back sister!!!
Since I am paying homage to Becky, I'd like anyone reading this to send out a little prayer for her Witt. He is being allergy tested today & let's put out the good vibes that he is allergy free!!!
Hugs to you Ms. Becky!!!
Anyway, I really admire her. She stays at home with three boys & home schools them. One of her babies has food allergies & she is very good about making sure nothing harmful enters his little body. I truly appreciate & respect that & I find that people in general usually can't. I just read a post from her blog about going dairy free. It was posted last year, but it's a good one http://boysrulemylife.blogspot.com/2008/02/dairy-free-family.html! My point is this, why do people try to hate when someone makes a good decision about his or her health? It seems to me like it's such a backwards hillbilly way to look at things. I am sorry if you are a backwards hillbilly & this offends you, but you're an idiot & please go play in traffic. Why on God's green earth wouldn't you want to live a healthy & fulfilled life? ESPECIALLY if you are responsible for a child that enters this world & you want them to be healthy & happy.
Becky, even though I know you are strong & smart & a great mom & wife - I've got your back sister!!!
Since I am paying homage to Becky, I'd like anyone reading this to send out a little prayer for her Witt. He is being allergy tested today & let's put out the good vibes that he is allergy free!!!
Hugs to you Ms. Becky!!!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Happy Head Person Visit
So I met with my happy head person on Thursday. It was a great & really productive session. There were a couple of things I needed to ask her about & then a couple of things I really needed help with.
My first question to her was about my anger issues. I told her that I have a very short temper & that I am quick to snap these days. After much long discussion, she told me this: Jen, I have been psycho analyzing for years now & the one conclusion I have come up with is that there are two people in this world - Nice & Mean. You have fallen on some not so nice things in the past 4-5 years & you have given up on mankind. The reason is that you are one of the nice ones. By being hurt so much you have tried on the tough girl act & it doesn't work for you. You HAVE absorbed all the anger around you until you exploded-it's not your anger. So I was very happy to hear that the raging psychotic bitch I have been isn't me. lol! But HHP, I can't work for other people - They SUCK! No, you can work for people, you just have to work for NICE people. Ok...So that leads to the other part of our discussion.
JOB. Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE not having any responsibility, but...HHP told me that I am bored & not stimulated. She said I am too smart to not have another degree in something or be pursuing anything right now. How did this one come about? Read on: Jen, do you love animals? Uh, yeah-I like them. How much do you like them? I don't know, my pets are like my kids... Do you see yourself working with them? Maybe in a vet's office? No, I really don't like picking up poo or cleaning cages - just love to play or cuddle. Why? Do you think I need a job?!?!?! Actually, yes I do. You need to find a way to share the light you have inside you. To share love & light is to heal. Right now you have such a small world & need to share that light! I know you are on your spiritual journey, but if that is ALL you have to focus on then it's not healthy. Right now it's: 1. Journey 2. Husband 3. Workout 4. In-laws. You need a Much Much bigger horizon. That is so weird...I was just thinking about how I needed to get a job. Not necessarily for money, but something to do & feel a bit more independent. AWESOME!!!!
HHP, my general practitioner gave me a prescript for Wellbrutin because half the month I am depressed due to PMS. He politely pointed out that is half my life. What are your thoughts on that? I am hesitant due to the brain altering chemicals that will enter my body... No, first you need to get some evening primrose oil. Take the capsules. The wellbutrin may make you feel better, but you will gain weight & it just masks the problem & alleviates symptoms. You won't get to the root of what's going on. I think you should see a kinesiologist named X & he is awesome. He will send you home with a bag full of supplements. Or maybe a naturopath dr. or an accupuncturist who treats with herbs. I am a bit hesitant on seeing the kinesiligist because I hate taking pills. When I was little I had to take pills from the time I was 4 until I was 12 because I had temporal lobe seizures. WHY didn't you tell me you had been on long term anti-seizure medicine? That makes this a bit of a different ball game. I dunno, I never think about it? Didn't think it was that big of a deal? Ok, don't go see kinesioligist, go see a naturopath. You need answers! Bring your physical test results to her & let her know you had been on anti-seizure meds. Ok, I have heard of Dr. Nellie Grose. YES! Go see her, years ago we would refer the kids to see her (she used to run a school).
So, after all this she wrote out a list for me to do:
1). Get health in order - you need to be balanced out
2). Look up long term side effects of Tegretol (anti-seizure med)
3). Get part-time job
4). Start travel fund
Here is the big kicker of everything. Remember in my last post or two I mentioned I have a huge vitamin d deficiency? The only long term side effect of Tegretol I could find is that it messes with the body's ability to properly absorb Vitamin D - therefore making bones brittle & of course hindering the ability to properly absorb calcium. That was such a WHOA moment for me. Because I would have never thought about the days I had to meds & look at a long term side effect. Never! SO that explains a lot :) I am taking Vita D supps as we speak.
I have an appointment on Monday at 2 pm with Dr. Grose. I can't wait & hopefully will truly get the answers I need to help me get to optimal & balanced health. YAY Happy Head Person VISIT!!!
Now that you have read my rendition of War & Peace...lol! I hope everyone has a marvelous day & I will definitely keep you posted.
Peace!!!
My first question to her was about my anger issues. I told her that I have a very short temper & that I am quick to snap these days. After much long discussion, she told me this: Jen, I have been psycho analyzing for years now & the one conclusion I have come up with is that there are two people in this world - Nice & Mean. You have fallen on some not so nice things in the past 4-5 years & you have given up on mankind. The reason is that you are one of the nice ones. By being hurt so much you have tried on the tough girl act & it doesn't work for you. You HAVE absorbed all the anger around you until you exploded-it's not your anger. So I was very happy to hear that the raging psychotic bitch I have been isn't me. lol! But HHP, I can't work for other people - They SUCK! No, you can work for people, you just have to work for NICE people. Ok...So that leads to the other part of our discussion.
JOB. Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE not having any responsibility, but...HHP told me that I am bored & not stimulated. She said I am too smart to not have another degree in something or be pursuing anything right now. How did this one come about? Read on: Jen, do you love animals? Uh, yeah-I like them. How much do you like them? I don't know, my pets are like my kids... Do you see yourself working with them? Maybe in a vet's office? No, I really don't like picking up poo or cleaning cages - just love to play or cuddle. Why? Do you think I need a job?!?!?! Actually, yes I do. You need to find a way to share the light you have inside you. To share love & light is to heal. Right now you have such a small world & need to share that light! I know you are on your spiritual journey, but if that is ALL you have to focus on then it's not healthy. Right now it's: 1. Journey 2. Husband 3. Workout 4. In-laws. You need a Much Much bigger horizon. That is so weird...I was just thinking about how I needed to get a job. Not necessarily for money, but something to do & feel a bit more independent. AWESOME!!!!
HHP, my general practitioner gave me a prescript for Wellbrutin because half the month I am depressed due to PMS. He politely pointed out that is half my life. What are your thoughts on that? I am hesitant due to the brain altering chemicals that will enter my body... No, first you need to get some evening primrose oil. Take the capsules. The wellbutrin may make you feel better, but you will gain weight & it just masks the problem & alleviates symptoms. You won't get to the root of what's going on. I think you should see a kinesiologist named X & he is awesome. He will send you home with a bag full of supplements. Or maybe a naturopath dr. or an accupuncturist who treats with herbs.
So, after all this she wrote out a list for me to do:
1). Get health in order - you need to be balanced out
2). Look up long term side effects of Tegretol (anti-seizure med)
3). Get part-time job
4). Start travel fund
Here is the big kicker of everything. Remember in my last post or two I mentioned I have a huge vitamin d deficiency? The only long term side effect of Tegretol I could find is that it messes with the body's ability to properly absorb Vitamin D - therefore making bones brittle & of course hindering the ability to properly absorb calcium. That was such a WHOA moment for me. Because I would have never thought about the days I had to meds & look at a long term side effect. Never! SO that explains a lot :) I am taking Vita D supps as we speak.
I have an appointment on Monday at 2 pm with Dr. Grose. I can't wait & hopefully will truly get the answers I need to help me get to optimal & balanced health. YAY Happy Head Person VISIT!!!
Now that you have read my rendition of War & Peace...lol! I hope everyone has a marvelous day & I will definitely keep you posted.
Peace!!!
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Longest Post Ever in the history of Posts
I haven't named this post yet because I don't know what to call it. SO, I thought I'd just start writing & see what tickles my fancy...
Let's see. I went & saw the nutritionist. I posted a bit on Facebook how she was quite the nutty professor. In her defense I did say I wanted to get healthy because I may want to have a baby. So with that being said, after chit chatting & bla bla bla, she finally gets to the being a nutritionist part. She was asking me questions about my lifestyle, etc. & then asked me about stress. I let her know the only real source of stress is & always has been my in-laws. OH GIRL. Wrong thing apparently to say to nutritionist who thinks she is a therapist. Really?? She goes into this tirade about how when women breast feed they get orgasms & they are attached to their children that way & that is why women won't have sex with their husbands when their babies are nursing. OMFG. REALLY?!?!?! I don't remember signing up for you to psycho analyze me & my husband. All I wanted was some direction. Guidance - a jump start. NONE of that happened. She was all over the place. Threw up a bunch of information that she kept telling me helped her & then sent me on my way. No follow up or meal plan or anything. I will not be going back to crazy. I like to actually back away from crazy...
The plus is I have started a workout routine. Last week was my first week of boot camp. I am finally getting my groove on in that regards. You know, I am going to pour my heart out right now...I weighed myself & I weigh 171. Now I am only 5'3" & that's a lot of weight on my frame. I have been this way since my surgery & haven't really fluctuated from that. I am MISERABLE in this body. Not specifically for the shallow aspects, but I just feel uncomfortable. Nothing cute fits me, I am tired all the time & I am embarrassed. There, I said it. I am ashamed of this massive weight gain. But, I am working on making things right with myself.
Shame is a funny thing. It keeps ya from doing the things you love & being your best self. Since I am striving to be my best self, I am happy that I am seeing a therapist. I get to see her this week & I know all things will be well. I kind of feel like I am moving in inches & not leaps & bounds, but then I have to realize that I am changing the way I live & it's hard. My doctor gave me a prescript for anti-depressants, but I haven't filled it yet. I have an apprehension of chemically altering my brain & my thoughts. But I am wondering if it will help me initially & then I can ween myself off of it. I spend half a month depressed because of PMS & pms is getting worse & worse as I get older. So we'll see what happy head person has to say :)
So this is where I am. I am working on getting healthier for real this time & I know there are some days I won't be 100%, but I am ok with that. Yesterday was a really bad day. I had horrible headaches & allergies. I did get a workout in though! Ok, this was a long rambling post, but just the shizz going on in my life. I hope everyone is well!!! My birthday is in 11 days!!! 26 is going to be a fantastic year!!!
Hugs & Peace!!!
Let's see. I went & saw the nutritionist. I posted a bit on Facebook how she was quite the nutty professor. In her defense I did say I wanted to get healthy because I may want to have a baby. So with that being said, after chit chatting & bla bla bla, she finally gets to the being a nutritionist part. She was asking me questions about my lifestyle, etc. & then asked me about stress. I let her know the only real source of stress is & always has been my in-laws. OH GIRL. Wrong thing apparently to say to nutritionist who thinks she is a therapist. Really?? She goes into this tirade about how when women breast feed they get orgasms & they are attached to their children that way & that is why women won't have sex with their husbands when their babies are nursing. OMFG. REALLY?!?!?! I don't remember signing up for you to psycho analyze me & my husband. All I wanted was some direction. Guidance - a jump start. NONE of that happened. She was all over the place. Threw up a bunch of information that she kept telling me helped her & then sent me on my way. No follow up or meal plan or anything. I will not be going back to crazy. I like to actually back away from crazy...
The plus is I have started a workout routine. Last week was my first week of boot camp
Shame is a funny thing. It keeps ya from doing the things you love & being your best self. Since I am striving to be my best self, I am happy that I am seeing a therapist. I get to see her this week & I know all things will be well. I kind of feel like I am moving in inches & not leaps & bounds, but then I have to realize that I am changing the way I live & it's hard. My doctor gave me a prescript for anti-depressants, but I haven't filled it yet. I have an apprehension of chemically altering my brain & my thoughts. But I am wondering if it will help me initially & then I can ween myself off of it. I spend half a month depressed because of PMS & pms is getting worse & worse as I get older. So we'll see what happy head person has to say :)
So this is where I am. I am working on getting healthier for real this time & I know there are some days I won't be 100%, but I am ok with that. Yesterday was a really bad day. I had horrible headaches & allergies. I did get a workout in though! Ok, this was a long rambling post, but just the shizz going on in my life. I hope everyone is well!!! My birthday is in 11 days!!! 26 is going to be a fantastic year!!!
Hugs & Peace!!!
Friday, December 4, 2009
It snowed!!!
I was like a kid in a candy store today. Since I am a housewife right now, I got to see the snow fall & stick to the ground. It truly was magical for me as I have lived in Texas all my life. Yes, I've seen snow on a couple of occasions, but to be in real live falling snow rocks!!!
So, I think I have found the issue with my fatigue. I went & got a physical & my vitamin D levels are incredibly low. Normal levels start at 32 & mine is 21. So it makes sense that I am fatigued, my bones ache & I don't recover as quickly as I used to. I never knew Vita D was so important. Also, I guess I can sit my arse out in the sun more often :) I am visiting a nutritionist on Monday & am excited about this. Just a little jump start on that front. This week I've been pretty good about my diet & I am pretty sure it's because we are on a budget. Eating at home makes one helluva difference!
Other than that, things are pretty much same old same old! I hope all is well with everyone.
Peace!
So, I think I have found the issue with my fatigue. I went & got a physical & my vitamin D levels are incredibly low. Normal levels start at 32 & mine is 21. So it makes sense that I am fatigued, my bones ache & I don't recover as quickly as I used to. I never knew Vita D was so important. Also, I guess I can sit my arse out in the sun more often :) I am visiting a nutritionist on Monday & am excited about this. Just a little jump start on that front. This week I've been pretty good about my diet & I am pretty sure it's because we are on a budget. Eating at home makes one helluva difference!
Other than that, things are pretty much same old same old! I hope all is well with everyone.
Peace!
Monday, November 30, 2009
Another letter bites the dust
Ok, I promise I am nt making this up, but the letter 'O' is now on the fritz. I've been through E, A, I & now O. Either someone at HP is playing a joke on me or at some point in time I am going to be able to spell something cool & know I have a friend from the after life. Oh & the number 9 was sticking right before O. Who knows, I could gogle HP keyboards & there is probably some forum on there talking abut the sticky keyboard letters. But for nw I am just having fun! Notice all the words missing an o?
Other than that, not much to report. I did join boot camp this month. Finally, the teacher becomes the student.
Peace!
Other than that, not much to report. I did join boot camp this month. Finally, the teacher becomes the student.
Peace!
Monday, November 23, 2009
It's true...2012 WILL be the end of days
How do I know? My evil sister-in-law is pregnant & I am pretty sure she is going to birth the Anti-Christ. That poor kid, it's not even its fault. I wonder if she is going to name him/her Damien? I know, that is a horrible thing to say, but if you knew Satan you'd know what I am talking about. (BTW-I am totally giggling while writing this!!!)
Not too much going on here. Sigh...I need to get out more...
Love to you all!!!
Not too much going on here. Sigh...I need to get out more...
Love to you all!!!
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Family Behaving Badly
So the older I get the more I learn about my family (not my immediate family, but cousins/uncles, etc.) Now I know my family is not perfect, but I do know the one thing my family does not do is play games with each other. I don't mean Monopoly kind of games, but swarmy bullshit games.
This morning's post is about bullshit. You know, I just don't understand why people have a problem with telling the truth. Don't our parents raise us to tell the truth? Don't attorneys seek out the truth? Obviously there is something to this truth thing. I mean, I guess I could hone my skills as a pathological liar. Then there is that icky bullshit passive/aggressive shit. Really? How can you not feel incredibly gross about yourself? Ick...
Anyhoo-I am up way too early & it's not good because I am already bitching. lol!
Peace out...
This morning's post is about bullshit. You know, I just don't understand why people have a problem with telling the truth. Don't our parents raise us to tell the truth? Don't attorneys seek out the truth? Obviously there is something to this truth thing. I mean, I guess I could hone my skills as a pathological liar. Then there is that icky bullshit passive/aggressive shit. Really? How can you not feel incredibly gross about yourself? Ick...
Anyhoo-I am up way too early & it's not good because I am already bitching. lol!
Peace out...
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Peace within
So I had an emergency meeting with my happy head person. I pretty much have her on speed dial & by the time she is done parenting me (her words exactly) I am pretty sure she'll be able to buy a Ferrari. Our meeting was about all my anger towards my in-laws. It's the ONLY thing Alex & I fight about. The only thing. So she helped me see quite a few things & can I tell you that just one change in perspective is the most liberating feeling in the world? Yeah baby!!! Now I have nothing to worry about & I realize they have no power over me. Woot woot!!
Anyway, I woke up feeling great! I am sipping hot water with lemon & plan on getting on my treadmill after this post. Damn I feel liberated!!! Lovin' it!!!
Short post.
Love ya!
Anyway, I woke up feeling great! I am sipping hot water with lemon & plan on getting on my treadmill after this post. Damn I feel liberated!!! Lovin' it!!!
Short post.
Love ya!
Sunday, November 15, 2009
New Blog
Sweet!!! Successfully changed my template, web address & title. You know I love Chaka Khan, but I'm not every woman. As a matter of fact, I am one of diversity & uniqueness :) At least that's what my happy head person says!!! lol. Seriously though, I am made up of two races (and probably then some), I was raised Jewish (even though I am not practicing) and my mother is Chinese Jamaican. I can't quite figure out how she is third generation Jamaican, but hey, I'll take it!!! When I learned of the trouble that my people caused Tibet, I immediately called my mother & asked if my relatives had anything to do with it. She said no, but I am not thoroughly convinced we don't have relatives in China.
So my new blog is more just about my life journey in growing up & being able to take care of myself. I know that sounds ridiculous since I will be 35 next month, but better late than never. I truly hope to capture the real essence of my journey, but just to be honest there will be some posts that aren't as full of sunshine as I'd like them to be. Then again, life isn't always full of sunshine.
Oh & the reason for my new web address is this. I figure that in life we all strive to be our better selves. We need a little bit of that extra elbow room to change because change isn't always easy & it helps to be able to stretch out when we are in it. Let me rephrase : we are infinitely striving to be our better selves! So step aside peops, I am stretching out & reaching out for that elbow room to make change. What change shall unfold here.
Ok, done rambling. Going to go enjoy a lazy sunday.
xxoo!!
So my new blog is more just about my life journey in growing up & being able to take care of myself. I know that sounds ridiculous since I will be 35 next month, but better late than never. I truly hope to capture the real essence of my journey, but just to be honest there will be some posts that aren't as full of sunshine as I'd like them to be. Then again, life isn't always full of sunshine.
Oh & the reason for my new web address is this. I figure that in life we all strive to be our better selves. We need a little bit of that extra elbow room to change because change isn't always easy & it helps to be able to stretch out when we are in it. Let me rephrase : we are infinitely striving to be our better selves! So step aside peops, I am stretching out & reaching out for that elbow room to make change. What change shall unfold here.
Ok, done rambling. Going to go enjoy a lazy sunday.
xxoo!!
Friday, November 13, 2009
Yay!!!
I did it!!! I changed my blog template & now I hearts my blog!!! Woohoo!!!
I'd like to formally apologize to my blog for any insults/harmful comments and/or demeaning sayings.
Now I have some more stuff to work on, but YAY!!!
I'd like to formally apologize to my blog for any insults/harmful comments and/or demeaning sayings.
Now I have some more stuff to work on, but YAY!!!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Seriously, I hate my blog
For the love of Pete!~ I really think my blog is not so great. I mean, does anyone really read it? Can I write? I know I can write, but do I write well? Hmmmm...
I haven't honed my writing skills since college & quite frankly there just hasn't been too much inspiring me lately. I mean, things are going well in my life & I am finally on my way to the Best Jen I can be, but hmpf.
Although I did have to let my rage monkey out earlier & it will have to continue into the weekend until I have a meeting with my crazy ass in-laws. I don't mean crazy as in fun, I mean crazy as in dysfunctional abusive whack job kind of crazy. Who knows, maybe after this weekend they'll accidentally fall off a cliff or something. Ok, that was harsh, but maybe I won't have to get that restraining order after all. Enough about them - too toxic!
My only hope in life is that I get a bonafide movie star to follow me on Twitter. One of my friends has Ashton Kutcher following her!!! How cool is that? But then I am like, damn, my twitter posts aren't enlightening or witty enough. Damn damn!
Ok-I truly am just rambling...I hope everyone is well!!!
Peace out!
I haven't honed my writing skills since college & quite frankly there just hasn't been too much inspiring me lately. I mean, things are going well in my life & I am finally on my way to the Best Jen I can be, but hmpf.
Although I did have to let my rage monkey out earlier & it will have to continue into the weekend until I have a meeting with my crazy ass in-laws. I don't mean crazy as in fun, I mean crazy as in dysfunctional abusive whack job kind of crazy. Who knows, maybe after this weekend they'll accidentally fall off a cliff or something. Ok, that was harsh, but maybe I won't have to get that restraining order after all. Enough about them - too toxic!
My only hope in life is that I get a bonafide movie star to follow me on Twitter. One of my friends has Ashton Kutcher following her!!! How cool is that? But then I am like, damn, my twitter posts aren't enlightening or witty enough. Damn damn!
Ok-I truly am just rambling...I hope everyone is well!!!
Peace out!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Even though I haven't, I feel like I've lost 20 pounds
Strange but true. Kind of like I try to toast things in the toaster oven without plugging it in. You know, like every day things that are strange but true. Or maybe in my case that was just sad but true - lol!!!
So I had a good session with my happy head person. Now like I've sad before, she's not a typical shrink. It's more than that!!! Good thing for me & my pocket book is that I only have to see her once a month. Ok, anyway, yesterday I had this 1.5 hour intense session with her & by the time I got home, I had felt lke (forgive me for some expletives right now, but the 'i' key keeps sticking on my #$%@!%@# keyboard so if u see a word wthout an i, that's why!!!) i had just gotten a massage. I was exhausted, but in a good kind of way. I had a huge emotional release & am figurng out the thngs that I need to do to make me tick in a good way. Of course she told me I had to learn how to cook & uh I was like 'really? cuz i really don't cook & the kitchen is a very dangerous place for me to be!!'
Ugh, enough about me. Blogging - blah blah blah blah. lol! Just a bit hystercal right now because i have to go the grocery store whch is the number one place i hate to go. Damn. Damn. Damn. Can't they just deliver the groceres to me? Stupid grocery store. I mean, in love & light grocery store who provides bounties of god given food so that i may attempt to cook something.
Well, i hope all is well n your life!!!
Hugs & Peace!
So I had a good session with my happy head person. Now like I've sad before, she's not a typical shrink. It's more than that!!! Good thing for me & my pocket book is that I only have to see her once a month. Ok, anyway, yesterday I had this 1.5 hour intense session with her & by the time I got home, I had felt lke (forgive me for some expletives right now, but the 'i' key keeps sticking on my #$%@!%@# keyboard so if u see a word wthout an i, that's why!!!) i had just gotten a massage. I was exhausted, but in a good kind of way. I had a huge emotional release & am figurng out the thngs that I need to do to make me tick in a good way. Of course she told me I had to learn how to cook & uh I was like 'really? cuz i really don't cook & the kitchen is a very dangerous place for me to be!!'
Ugh, enough about me. Blogging - blah blah blah blah. lol! Just a bit hystercal right now because i have to go the grocery store whch is the number one place i hate to go. Damn. Damn. Damn. Can't they just deliver the groceres to me? Stupid grocery store. I mean, in love & light grocery store who provides bounties of god given food so that i may attempt to cook something.
Well, i hope all is well n your life!!!
Hugs & Peace!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
I think I can I think I can
Ok first of all, something really strange is going on with my keyboard. The vowels on my keyboard are being wonky. First the E key stuck & is working fine, then the A key did the same, & now I is doing it. I wonder if it's like Ghost whisperer & going to spell something like 'Hey hussie, here are the numbers for the lottery.' That would be really cool & then I'd know I was being haunted by a psychic ghost.
Anyway, so my dear friend Tex (I know, I talk about her a lot!! But I really love her dearly) let me know about Marilu Henner's Total Health Makeover. I am trying that on for size because I figure what do I have to lose? I have been very hard on myself for the past oh 34 years of my life & it's time to give myself a break. So the reason for my title is that I have one hell of a headache that makes me want to go play in traffic because I figure that would hurt a lot less. Damn! How many chemicals could I possibly have in my body? The proof is in the organic pudding I guess.
I am supposed to give up all harmful chemicals - for me that translates into processed food. I don't drink & don't smoke. Then I suppose dairy, which is easy for me because I am horribly lactose intolerant. Then sugar - the devil reincarnate (aside from my evil cat). Meat is something that I am definitely weaning myself off of.
There are some really exciting things happening in the next couple of days. Once they come to fruition, I will post & let you know what!!! I don't want to jinx anything. Rawr!
Ok-leaving this post with lots of love & good positive energy.
Asian Jamaican
Anyway, so my dear friend Tex (I know, I talk about her a lot!! But I really love her dearly) let me know about Marilu Henner's Total Health Makeover. I am trying that on for size because I figure what do I have to lose? I have been very hard on myself for the past oh 34 years of my life & it's time to give myself a break. So the reason for my title is that I have one hell of a headache that makes me want to go play in traffic because I figure that would hurt a lot less. Damn! How many chemicals could I possibly have in my body? The proof is in the organic pudding I guess.
I am supposed to give up all harmful chemicals - for me that translates into processed food. I don't drink & don't smoke. Then I suppose dairy, which is easy for me because I am horribly lactose intolerant. Then sugar - the devil reincarnate (aside from my evil cat). Meat is something that I am definitely weaning myself off of.
There are some really exciting things happening in the next couple of days. Once they come to fruition, I will post & let you know what!!! I don't want to jinx anything. Rawr!
Ok-leaving this post with lots of love & good positive energy.
Asian Jamaican
Monday, November 2, 2009
So Not a Fan...
So I have decided that I am not a fan of my blog. Remember in the very beginning I had said I hate blogging? I am pretty sure it still stands true!!! With that being said, I may take this one down & then build another one back up. One that really reflects who I am :)
What's been up lately? The weather has been ok. Finally have a bit of cool weather that is conducive to being outside & running around. We have been letting the kiddos - i.e. the cats & dog - run around outside on their own. Our backyard is a fair size & for indoor cats it's like the Red Tree Forrest. My middle cat is evil. So evil. There was this beautiful butterfly that was floating around the backyard & the bitch totally went up to it & shredded its wings. WTF? Evil cat!! My beautiful little calico Bella, just watched the butterflies flutter by. Netflix, aka the Evil Beotch, can't stop hunting. Today my hubby took a half day & I was about to take a nap when I glanced out the window & Evil Beotch had a lizard in her mouth. Husband to the rescue! lol!!!
Sigh...sad to say, that is ALL that is going on in my life. I am realigning myself in mind, body & spirit & it's kind of slow. But again, I am ok with that.
OH! Something exciting, I totally got a library card this weekend. Hahahahaha! I know-totally dorky. I had no idea how to look for a book. How sad is that? I had to ask for help. But I got the book I wanted & all is well with the world.
Anyway, I'll post when & if I get to a new blog.
Peace Out Peops!
What's been up lately? The weather has been ok. Finally have a bit of cool weather that is conducive to being outside & running around. We have been letting the kiddos - i.e. the cats & dog - run around outside on their own. Our backyard is a fair size & for indoor cats it's like the Red Tree Forrest. My middle cat is evil. So evil. There was this beautiful butterfly that was floating around the backyard & the bitch totally went up to it & shredded its wings. WTF? Evil cat!! My beautiful little calico Bella, just watched the butterflies flutter by. Netflix, aka the Evil Beotch, can't stop hunting. Today my hubby took a half day & I was about to take a nap when I glanced out the window & Evil Beotch had a lizard in her mouth. Husband to the rescue! lol!!!
Sigh...sad to say, that is ALL that is going on in my life. I am realigning myself in mind, body & spirit & it's kind of slow. But again, I am ok with that.
OH! Something exciting, I totally got a library card this weekend. Hahahahaha! I know-totally dorky. I had no idea how to look for a book. How sad is that? I had to ask for help. But I got the book I wanted & all is well with the world.
Anyway, I'll post when & if I get to a new blog.
Peace Out Peops!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Going Vegetarian
Ok, so I tried the Raw Foods thing & failed miserably. Or let me rephrase more positively, it wasn't my thing! I can however, choose to make better choices for myself. I have been reading horrible things about ground beef & also the cruelty that goes into slaughterhouses. I know, I know. Some people are going to think I am a tree hugger hippie & maybe I am. But more than anything, at least I will be a healthy tree hugger hippie.
My goal for this week is to not consume any animal flesh or dairy. Dairy is easy for me to give up because Homeslice is horribly lactose intolerant. I mean it ain't pretty when dairy enters this body!!! Meat isn't so hard either to give up, but I am kind of lost as to what I should eat. I am stalking my vegetarian friends as we speak & some have been helpful & others just downright silly :) That's ok-I know for a fact this is going to be a process. I am ok with that. Getting away from processed foods is kind of hard too because they are everywhere among us like an alien invasion. I am also being drawn towards eating seasonally & locally. That is going to be hard mainly because farmer's markets are only on weekends (usually) and i have no idea what is locally grown here in Texas. I guess I am going to have to stalk farmer's market websites too. I may have to make a trip into town twice a week. Which in the big picture isn't so bad since I'll be investing in my health.
I finally got my exercises I need to do to get my body back into alignment. All I can say is that I have my work cut out for me. I am ok with that too. Well, if anyone has any advice on veggie meals or places I can stalk for info, please leave a comment!!!
Peace & Love!!!
My goal for this week is to not consume any animal flesh or dairy. Dairy is easy for me to give up because Homeslice is horribly lactose intolerant. I mean it ain't pretty when dairy enters this body!!! Meat isn't so hard either to give up, but I am kind of lost as to what I should eat. I am stalking my vegetarian friends as we speak & some have been helpful & others just downright silly :) That's ok-I know for a fact this is going to be a process. I am ok with that. Getting away from processed foods is kind of hard too because they are everywhere among us like an alien invasion. I am also being drawn towards eating seasonally & locally. That is going to be hard mainly because farmer's markets are only on weekends (usually) and i have no idea what is locally grown here in Texas. I guess I am going to have to stalk farmer's market websites too. I may have to make a trip into town twice a week. Which in the big picture isn't so bad since I'll be investing in my health.
I finally got my exercises I need to do to get my body back into alignment. All I can say is that I have my work cut out for me. I am ok with that too. Well, if anyone has any advice on veggie meals or places I can stalk for info, please leave a comment!!!
Peace & Love!!!
Friday, October 16, 2009
Back to the Old Title
I think I am going to change my blog back to Totally in the Raw. It will mean that I am just writing from the heart & keeping it raw & real ;)
Also-I wanted to say that the Universe is a kind place. I desperately wanted to get into this nutrition program & I was feeling a sense of urgency (it starts Monday) which was making me anxious. So I consulted Tex and she said I needed to talk to her psychic. I was kind of freaked out about this because from what Tex has said, the psychic will rock my world. So I tentatively put in for a call back & waited like a kid the night before Christmas & well...nothing. I was bummed because I was looking for any way to give me a sign. Even Tex saw my tweet & pulled over so she could consult her laptop & to her dismay saw that the psychic was away. Love Tex so much!!!! She called me & made sure everything was ok. I was still sad as I knew that time was running out...I get off the phone with Tex & not 20 minutes later did the Ultimate Happy Head person call me :) I totally stole Happy Head person from Tex.
Even though we didn't have a consultation today, she just happened to call when I felt the most bewildered. It turns out that she is not only a therapist (she's actually more than this, but it's too much for me to remember to type), she is a psychic! The universe must have said it wasn't time for me to spend time with first psychic, but all in one happy head person instead. We talked for a bit & I have my first phone consultation. Tex has told me this lady will help me change my life. I look forward to a newer & happier life. The coolest thing yet, is she told me I would only need 3-6 sessions-That is How Good she is supposed to be!!!
I felt really at peace when I talked to HHP. Then my brother called & we had a long talk about monter in law & in laws in general. He helped me to gain a better perspective on how to handle & act, etc. I guess sometimes you just need to talk to someone else. My brother is the coolest of big brothers & I have always sought out his advice. I never thought about seeking advice for my own family stuff. Just an overall great day!!!! Things are happening & happening in a great way.
I really look forward to the next couple of months & what is to come. No pressure about weight or anything. My trainer is the coolest too!! had a quick chat with her. She said no kickboxing either!!! can u imagine?
Well-have a fantabulous day peops!!
Peace!
Also-I wanted to say that the Universe is a kind place. I desperately wanted to get into this nutrition program & I was feeling a sense of urgency (it starts Monday) which was making me anxious. So I consulted Tex and she said I needed to talk to her psychic. I was kind of freaked out about this because from what Tex has said, the psychic will rock my world. So I tentatively put in for a call back & waited like a kid the night before Christmas & well...nothing. I was bummed because I was looking for any way to give me a sign. Even Tex saw my tweet & pulled over so she could consult her laptop & to her dismay saw that the psychic was away. Love Tex so much!!!! She called me & made sure everything was ok. I was still sad as I knew that time was running out...I get off the phone with Tex & not 20 minutes later did the Ultimate Happy Head person call me :) I totally stole Happy Head person from Tex.
Even though we didn't have a consultation today, she just happened to call when I felt the most bewildered. It turns out that she is not only a therapist (she's actually more than this, but it's too much for me to remember to type), she is a psychic! The universe must have said it wasn't time for me to spend time with first psychic, but all in one happy head person instead. We talked for a bit & I have my first phone consultation. Tex has told me this lady will help me change my life. I look forward to a newer & happier life. The coolest thing yet, is she told me I would only need 3-6 sessions-That is How Good she is supposed to be!!!
I felt really at peace when I talked to HHP. Then my brother called & we had a long talk about monter in law & in laws in general. He helped me to gain a better perspective on how to handle & act, etc. I guess sometimes you just need to talk to someone else. My brother is the coolest of big brothers & I have always sought out his advice. I never thought about seeking advice for my own family stuff. Just an overall great day!!!! Things are happening & happening in a great way.
I really look forward to the next couple of months & what is to come. No pressure about weight or anything. My trainer is the coolest too!! had a quick chat with her. She said no kickboxing either!!! can u imagine?
Well-have a fantabulous day peops!!
Peace!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Anger Management
So, universally everything seems to be going ok for me. Nothing too great & nothing too bad. However, lately me & the hubman have been doing nothing but fighting about his family. He says that I don't act like myself around them & that's because I feel incredibly uncomfortable around them. I don't like being around crazy or hurtful. I mean, call me crazy, but wtf?
He says I hold onto things & really all that is for me is a process. I am one to hold onto hurt simply until I can let it go. I don't do it on purpose. I am just built this way. Is it the healthiest way? Probably not, but I also don't pull emotions out of thin air just to be an asshole. If you really know me, I am a pretty cool chick. I am not like many girls, I like to play rough & tumble & still look hot doing it. I grew up in a motorcycle shop & have an older brother. My parents have always been equal opportunists for both kids & have always been supportive. They give us our space & are there when we need them. How much cooler can that get? They don't lean on us or depend on us for anything, they let us be kids. How could I not turn out decent? I'd get my ass kicked solely by my family if I didn't.
Fast forward to the present. The reason I am so standoffish with the in-laws is that I am just not comfortable around them anymore. He says I focus on the negative...weeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllll....quite honestly I welcomed them with open arms when we started dating. I mean full on open arms. Take a shit on me - don't expect me to come back for seconds. That's with pretty much anyone or anything in my life.
So is it fair for him to say this? Maybe. Is it fair for me to be pissed & still not want to see them ever again? Maybe. But my point is that why should I have to act a certain way when I don't ask for this crazy shit? Why should I be the one who has to compromise when I don't compromise kindly with liars? Or, who says I have to not be me? I don't like that at all. It's a HUGE source of contention between us. I get incredibly pissed in the fact that I am even put in any fucked up situation simply because there wouldn't be a situation simply if we weren't in the same room ever. Or maybe I wouldn't get so pissed off just because I think a mother should truly love a child unconditionally & care that he is upset instead of wallowing in her own shit that she chose to do. I am the only sense of true normalcy he has, but maybe not. Maybe his fam is the norm & I am the weird fucked up part because I am normal?
He tells me to speak up. What?!?!?! Why should I even have to is my point. So ok, it's not awkward to have to put your in laws in their place? What the fuck ever. I mean truly-I am not sure what to do. Fine, I'll be myself, but it will be someone who tells it like it is because I have always been that way. Always! Whatever, I am one pissed off Asian right now & really feel like going kung fu on his ass. Tonight we were supposed to talk about my venture into my new nutrition program :( but the energy is so fucked up between us that I don't want to put that out there in the negative light.
Oh well...Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
He says I hold onto things & really all that is for me is a process. I am one to hold onto hurt simply until I can let it go. I don't do it on purpose. I am just built this way. Is it the healthiest way? Probably not, but I also don't pull emotions out of thin air just to be an asshole. If you really know me, I am a pretty cool chick. I am not like many girls, I like to play rough & tumble & still look hot doing it. I grew up in a motorcycle shop & have an older brother. My parents have always been equal opportunists for both kids & have always been supportive. They give us our space & are there when we need them. How much cooler can that get? They don't lean on us or depend on us for anything, they let us be kids. How could I not turn out decent? I'd get my ass kicked solely by my family if I didn't.
Fast forward to the present. The reason I am so standoffish with the in-laws is that I am just not comfortable around them anymore. He says I focus on the negative...weeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllll....quite honestly I welcomed them with open arms when we started dating. I mean full on open arms. Take a shit on me - don't expect me to come back for seconds. That's with pretty much anyone or anything in my life.
So is it fair for him to say this? Maybe. Is it fair for me to be pissed & still not want to see them ever again? Maybe. But my point is that why should I have to act a certain way when I don't ask for this crazy shit? Why should I be the one who has to compromise when I don't compromise kindly with liars? Or, who says I have to not be me? I don't like that at all. It's a HUGE source of contention between us. I get incredibly pissed in the fact that I am even put in any fucked up situation simply because there wouldn't be a situation simply if we weren't in the same room ever. Or maybe I wouldn't get so pissed off just because I think a mother should truly love a child unconditionally & care that he is upset instead of wallowing in her own shit that she chose to do. I am the only sense of true normalcy he has, but maybe not. Maybe his fam is the norm & I am the weird fucked up part because I am normal?
He tells me to speak up. What?!?!?! Why should I even have to is my point. So ok, it's not awkward to have to put your in laws in their place? What the fuck ever. I mean truly-I am not sure what to do. Fine, I'll be myself, but it will be someone who tells it like it is because I have always been that way. Always! Whatever, I am one pissed off Asian right now & really feel like going kung fu on his ass. Tonight we were supposed to talk about my venture into my new nutrition program :( but the energy is so fucked up between us that I don't want to put that out there in the negative light.
Oh well...Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Ducks in a Row
So I had an assessment done by my guru's equal today. I knew that Coach Kimmie would do right by me :) There are few people in my industry that I trust & she falls into the Trust category. The cool thing is that she doesn't just do the standard sit & reach test. She lays you down on your back & you just start to relax. She's totally sizing you up!! What I mean by that is she is looking for muscle imbalances & weakness. So pretty much I have all kinds of misalignments due to muscle weaknesses. She had me do a balance test in the beginning & I was all over the place!!! It was pretty funny looking. By the end of the session after she had me do all kinds of core & rehab exercises, I was completely stable (Insert the AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaah light here).
In a nutshell she told me I so shouldn't be doing CrossFit but that I can do regular strength training & I need to be walking 3 miles a day 5 x's a week. How do you like them apples? Better yet, how do I like them apples? I like it a lot! As a trainer, I want to be like Coach Kimmie. She is so knowledgeable & isn't just a counter of reps. I have mad respect for her. She told me to go to my island & I love that. She's right. She said to stop reading & overloading myself with information. As a person, intuitively I knew stuff was wrong with me. I could just feel it. So I have the next 6-8 weeks before I can turn my hardcore working out on. Which is ok. I finally have an answer &I feel good.
So tomorrow morning it begins! I will be walking my arse off. Oh!! About all my ducks in a row-now I have the workout part in control, I have found the nutrition aspect, I just need to manifest some $$ for it. My trainer is m'f'n expensive!!! So I am feeling a bit more calm about everything & feel like I am getting all my ducks in a row...So excited!!!
Peace!!!
In a nutshell she told me I so shouldn't be doing CrossFit but that I can do regular strength training & I need to be walking 3 miles a day 5 x's a week. How do you like them apples? Better yet, how do I like them apples? I like it a lot! As a trainer, I want to be like Coach Kimmie. She is so knowledgeable & isn't just a counter of reps. I have mad respect for her. She told me to go to my island & I love that. She's right. She said to stop reading & overloading myself with information. As a person, intuitively I knew stuff was wrong with me. I could just feel it. So I have the next 6-8 weeks before I can turn my hardcore working out on. Which is ok. I finally have an answer &I feel good.
So tomorrow morning it begins! I will be walking my arse off. Oh!! About all my ducks in a row-now I have the workout part in control, I have found the nutrition aspect, I just need to manifest some $$ for it. My trainer is m'f'n expensive!!! So I am feeling a bit more calm about everything & feel like I am getting all my ducks in a row...So excited!!!
Peace!!!
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Relief
Ok-things have been settled with monster-in-law. Peace is now reigning over our household :)
Other than that, I am just recovering from workout related injuries. I have an appointment with a trainer that is going to do a full assessment on me & see where my muscle imbalances lie, etc. She is an equal to my mentor & at this point, I just need help! I wish i could diagnose my own stuff, but it's out of my scope. Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away!!!
Anyway, thanks for bearing with me in my crazy in-lawness. Tomorrow, listening to my body, walking, weight lifting...We'll see what tomorrow brings!!
Peace!
Other than that, I am just recovering from workout related injuries. I have an appointment with a trainer that is going to do a full assessment on me & see where my muscle imbalances lie, etc. She is an equal to my mentor & at this point, I just need help! I wish i could diagnose my own stuff, but it's out of my scope. Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away!!!
Anyway, thanks for bearing with me in my crazy in-lawness. Tomorrow, listening to my body, walking, weight lifting...We'll see what tomorrow brings!!
Peace!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Expressing my right to write
Ok-I know I said I'd get back to business about my weight loss journey, blah blah blah. BUT, just when I think things are going well, something small happens & then I am full of nothing but piss & vinegar. This is the only place I can vent any of this. Facebook is a bit too upclose & personal kind of like all the other social networks. But this is my blog & I can do what I want to.
I wish there was a way for me to divorce my in-laws. I am this close to getting a restraining order, mainly because i never want to see them ever again. I KNOW my mother in law is going to live to be 100 just to fuck with me. UGH!!!!! I HATE her so much & his fucked up sisters. I love my husband, but i swear this can be a deal breaker for me.
I know I am not perfect, but I don't intentionally go & do something horribly wrong & hope for forgiveness later. I DON'T play like that. I never have & I NEVER will. Them? That's all they do. That fucking shit is spilling over into my life & I FUCKING hate it. If you lie to my face-I don't forgive as easily. Just be front about your fucked up ness & then we can move on. Again, I am all pissed off & my husband wants things to be peachy between us. You know what? I actually get to process. Yep-I get to bitch & moan about it until I feel better. That's my right & no one can take that away either.
All I want to do is say 'F***' 0ver & over again. Seriously. Aside from breaking shit. Tomorrow is going to have to be a better day.
I wish there was a way for me to divorce my in-laws. I am this close to getting a restraining order, mainly because i never want to see them ever again. I KNOW my mother in law is going to live to be 100 just to fuck with me. UGH!!!!! I HATE her so much & his fucked up sisters. I love my husband, but i swear this can be a deal breaker for me.
I know I am not perfect, but I don't intentionally go & do something horribly wrong & hope for forgiveness later. I DON'T play like that. I never have & I NEVER will. Them? That's all they do. That fucking shit is spilling over into my life & I FUCKING hate it. If you lie to my face-I don't forgive as easily. Just be front about your fucked up ness & then we can move on. Again, I am all pissed off & my husband wants things to be peachy between us. You know what? I actually get to process. Yep-I get to bitch & moan about it until I feel better. That's my right & no one can take that away either.
All I want to do is say 'F***' 0ver & over again. Seriously. Aside from breaking shit. Tomorrow is going to have to be a better day.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Crunch Time
Ok-getting closer to 26. ok, ok, 35 is going to be my real age, but i refuse to be a day older than 26. Anyway, I have roller derby tonight & that is a rigorous workout :) 2 hours of up/down & cardio. Oh! The real reason i posted this is that alex's x-mas party is dec. 11. that's close. yikes!!!!
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Light Hearted :)
I know this is going to sound crazy, BUT my husband & I had a huge blowout fight about his family & it was the best thing ever. We never fight & the only time we do is when it comes to that craziness. Anyway, long story short-we are totally on the same page now & life is all good again. YAY!
Tomorrow I am going to go to CrossFit & then do an hour of cardio & weights & hopefully get to kickboxing.
Hugs!!!
Asian
Tomorrow I am going to go to CrossFit & then do an hour of cardio & weights & hopefully get to kickboxing.
Hugs!!!
Asian
Friday, September 25, 2009
Re-evaluating
Ok, so do you ever wake up & say to yourself - 'Self, you've been lying to yourself! You think you know everything & what's best for you, but in reality it isn't working.'
It appeared to me today after my crossfit workout. i've been a no no bad liar & it's been to myself. Interestingly enough I haven't beaten myself up about it. All I can do is re-evaluate what it is that I am repeating that isn't working. So with that being said, I KNOW i have to eat better. How can I expect to progress towards my goals & achieve greatness if I keep eating poison? Also, my cardio-WHOA!!! Like I said in a facebook post-I don't even think I can call it cardio. That wouldn't be fair to cardio!
So what is my next step? Push myself harder with my cardio & start to follow a reasonable & doable eating plan. I want to try & cut out most animal products, but at this point I don't think I can completely. Alex, my amazingly supportive husband, is on board with me :) We are painting our cardio room this weekend & setting up our free weights. For the first time in a long time, I am excited about my journey!! Especially now that i have a partner in crime.
Well that's it for now. I am going to go pass out from my workout this morning.
Peace & Love!!!!
It appeared to me today after my crossfit workout. i've been a no no bad liar & it's been to myself. Interestingly enough I haven't beaten myself up about it. All I can do is re-evaluate what it is that I am repeating that isn't working. So with that being said, I KNOW i have to eat better. How can I expect to progress towards my goals & achieve greatness if I keep eating poison? Also, my cardio-WHOA!!! Like I said in a facebook post-I don't even think I can call it cardio. That wouldn't be fair to cardio!
So what is my next step? Push myself harder with my cardio & start to follow a reasonable & doable eating plan. I want to try & cut out most animal products, but at this point I don't think I can completely. Alex, my amazingly supportive husband, is on board with me :) We are painting our cardio room this weekend & setting up our free weights. For the first time in a long time, I am excited about my journey!! Especially now that i have a partner in crime.
Well that's it for now. I am going to go pass out from my workout this morning.
Peace & Love!!!!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Allergies?
Really? Right now in the throes of my badassness? I woke up with a congested head & if there is anything I hate more than running, it's not being able to breathe through my nose. So not fair~!!! I hate taking the allergy medicine because it dries me out & then I get a cough with a funky taste in my mouth. Hmmmm-methinks maybe today is a day of reflection & rest?
I wish I could burn calories snorting snot. Ok that was gross, but that's about all my body is doing right now.
So this post is just so I can post. I wish I lived in a state where we had seasons. I would give anything to experience that. I have lived here all my life & have only seen snow maybe twice in my life. Sigh...Anyway, not sure when I will bring it again. I think tomorrow.
Peace & Love!
I wish I could burn calories snorting snot. Ok that was gross, but that's about all my body is doing right now.
So this post is just so I can post. I wish I lived in a state where we had seasons. I would give anything to experience that. I have lived here all my life & have only seen snow maybe twice in my life. Sigh...Anyway, not sure when I will bring it again. I think tomorrow.
Peace & Love!
Friday, September 18, 2009
Pity Party
So today's workout sucked ass. I mean I might as well have not shown up today. Then we did some hard core workout that involved pull ups & I was so distraught that I couldn't do those. I mean horribly upset, quivering upper lip, tears in my eyes upset. Needless to say I did what I could, but wasn't 100% into it. Also I didn't really like the sub we had. She annoyed me.
Anyway, I was chatting with hubby & he has this knack to ask me the wrong questions sometimes. For some reason he thinks I can read his mind & he's already played out how he got to his question & then when he asks & I don't react the way he thinks I am going to he gets upset. How is that my fault? Whatever. My point is that I am not a mind reader, I have never claimed to be & quite frankly I will probably react the same way again at some point in time in the future.
I am just cranky because I was limited by my shoulder today & that just plain sucked. I'll get over it.
One thing I have noticed though is that I seriously need to work on cardio. My cardio is so bad right now. Yikes!!! I've had a lot of work to do on myself for a long time, but now it's really setting in. Guess I just have to keep going.
Anyway, I was chatting with hubby & he has this knack to ask me the wrong questions sometimes. For some reason he thinks I can read his mind & he's already played out how he got to his question & then when he asks & I don't react the way he thinks I am going to he gets upset. How is that my fault? Whatever. My point is that I am not a mind reader, I have never claimed to be & quite frankly I will probably react the same way again at some point in time in the future.
I am just cranky because I was limited by my shoulder today & that just plain sucked. I'll get over it.
One thing I have noticed though is that I seriously need to work on cardio. My cardio is so bad right now. Yikes!!! I've had a lot of work to do on myself for a long time, but now it's really setting in. Guess I just have to keep going.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Dear Self
Dear Self,
I have a few things we need to talk about. They are in no particular order, but they are important nonetheless.
Remember when you were 26 & did your first sprint triathlon? Remember how you finally ran a 5 k just because you hated to run? Well you're not 26 anymore! Slow your roll or at least remember to allow your body to recover. Your workouts are harder & more intense & you need to have good solid rest. Not to say that in a few weeks you won't be your old 26 year old self, but allow yourself to ease into it.
Don't get discouraged. Just remember that at this point food is fuel. We know you've had issues with food which is why we are where we are right now. I know you've been a rock star so far, but just keep it up & listen to your body.
You WILL REACH YOUR GOALS!!! You Will!!!! It's going to be insane how in shape you are. At some point I am sure your body will stop aching. lol! Keep your chin up :)
I think that's it for now Self-just keep it real & listen to your body. As a matter of Fact-Let's Post your WOD for the day.
CrossFit WOD: Front Power Squats
1 Set - 3 Reps of the Following:
Set 1 - 65 lbs
Set 2 - 75 lbs
Set 3 - 85 lbs
Set 4 - 95 lbs
Set 5 - 100 lbs
I was supposed to max out, but I didn't start off with enough weight. So my guess is that I would max out at about 105 lbs.
Anyway, that's it for now. Trying to muster the strength to get to kickboxing.
Peace!
Hot Bodied Asian in Progress
I have a few things we need to talk about. They are in no particular order, but they are important nonetheless.
Remember when you were 26 & did your first sprint triathlon? Remember how you finally ran a 5 k just because you hated to run? Well you're not 26 anymore! Slow your roll or at least remember to allow your body to recover. Your workouts are harder & more intense & you need to have good solid rest. Not to say that in a few weeks you won't be your old 26 year old self, but allow yourself to ease into it.
Don't get discouraged. Just remember that at this point food is fuel. We know you've had issues with food which is why we are where we are right now. I know you've been a rock star so far, but just keep it up & listen to your body.
You WILL REACH YOUR GOALS!!! You Will!!!! It's going to be insane how in shape you are. At some point I am sure your body will stop aching. lol! Keep your chin up :)
I think that's it for now Self-just keep it real & listen to your body. As a matter of Fact-Let's Post your WOD for the day.
CrossFit WOD: Front Power Squats
1 Set - 3 Reps of the Following:
Set 1 - 65 lbs
Set 2 - 75 lbs
Set 3 - 85 lbs
Set 4 - 95 lbs
Set 5 - 100 lbs
I was supposed to max out, but I didn't start off with enough weight. So my guess is that I would max out at about 105 lbs.
Anyway, that's it for now. Trying to muster the strength to get to kickboxing.
Peace!
Hot Bodied Asian in Progress
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
I really want to start whole new blog
Is it possible to do so? Ok - anyway, back to the cleanse. I have decided my body cannot handle horse pills, but the fiber portion is awesome! I feel so much cleaner on the inside. Not too much weight loss though. I figured out that by my birthday I need to lose about 3 pounds a week to make it happen.
Here is my update as of 9/15/09:
I have been consistent with CrossFit now & I am already feeling stronger! My shoulder is getting stronger & not in so much pain. I went back to kickboxing last night for the first time in a couple of months & bruised the shit out of my forearm doing elbow strikes (I HEART elbow strikes).
As far as diet I am now on a zig zag diet that consists of:
Protein
Fibrous carbs
Complex carbs
Boring huh? But the weight just drops off my body! It's all timed & everything. I eat every 2-3 hours. For the most part I am not hungry, but it's so low calorie. I finally found a whey protein I dig that doesn't have a ton of stuff in it. It's a very clean protein powder Jay Robb You can find it at HEB or any grocery store.
My main goal consists of two things:
Well party peops (as my friend Tex would say!) That's about it for now!!!
In Healthh & Wellness!!!!
J Mark
Here is my update as of 9/15/09:
I have been consistent with CrossFit now & I am already feeling stronger! My shoulder is getting stronger & not in so much pain. I went back to kickboxing last night for the first time in a couple of months & bruised the shit out of my forearm doing elbow strikes (I HEART elbow strikes).
As far as diet I am now on a zig zag diet that consists of:
Protein
Fibrous carbs
Complex carbs
Boring huh? But the weight just drops off my body! It's all timed & everything. I eat every 2-3 hours. For the most part I am not hungry, but it's so low calorie. I finally found a whey protein I dig that doesn't have a ton of stuff in it. It's a very clean protein powder Jay Robb You can find it at HEB or any grocery store.
My main goal consists of two things:
- To prove I can do this! I will have a fitness model body by the end of the year
- Health-I want to be healthy to do all the things in life I want to do
Well party peops (as my friend Tex would say!) That's about it for now!!!
In Healthh & Wellness!!!!
J Mark
Monday, April 13, 2009
I think my Blog is now Just a Blog
Being sick on & off for almost a month has really screwed with my goals. I went full time at my job & still teach boot camps in the wee hours of the morning. So I am all like all over the place. Rest? Somewhere it happens. Raw foods, when I remember to eat-lol! I was all stoked to go to work & workout at lunch (cuz there is all kinds of fitness equipment everywhere) & then go to kickboxing & I'll be damned if I didn't start coughing all over the place this morning. This time it's sitting in my chest, not my head. So I can breathe, just not deeply.
My kickboxing place called me asking me why I was AWOL. Ha! Now I have zero time to train for my triathlon, but I truly would rather be kickboxing. Anyway, my point is, that I am trying so hard to change my lifestyle & then I keep getting sick. I wonder what that's about? Seriously. Like am I that afraid of change that my body responds this way? Are raw foods actually the devil reincarnate? Ok not really b/c every person I see that is 100% raw looks FABULOUS. Then I am like, should I sell out & take supplements? Nah...I just am confused. Plain & simple. Am I trying to make something happen that's not supposed to right now? Like I can get my workouts done & change my food along the way. Do y'all know I am turning all red & getting all flushed typing this? WOW-what a reaction I am invoking just talking about this.
I tend to spazz out sometimes & wish like hell I was in a Southwest Airlines Commercial - 'Wanna get away?' I am itching to travel & explore & see what the world has to offer me. Oh wait, I forgot, I like have responsibility :( Boo! I am trying to research how to become an archaeologist. I have always wanted to do that. I know, it's insane, but I am not through learning from this world! Anyway, I am totally rambling now. Blah. I guess only time will tell if I can do the raw foods thing 100%. I hope everyone is well & I look forward to more epiphanies, or something.
Hugs!
My kickboxing place called me asking me why I was AWOL. Ha! Now I have zero time to train for my triathlon, but I truly would rather be kickboxing. Anyway, my point is, that I am trying so hard to change my lifestyle & then I keep getting sick. I wonder what that's about? Seriously. Like am I that afraid of change that my body responds this way? Are raw foods actually the devil reincarnate? Ok not really b/c every person I see that is 100% raw looks FABULOUS. Then I am like, should I sell out & take supplements? Nah...I just am confused. Plain & simple. Am I trying to make something happen that's not supposed to right now? Like I can get my workouts done & change my food along the way. Do y'all know I am turning all red & getting all flushed typing this? WOW-what a reaction I am invoking just talking about this.
I tend to spazz out sometimes & wish like hell I was in a Southwest Airlines Commercial - 'Wanna get away?' I am itching to travel & explore & see what the world has to offer me. Oh wait, I forgot, I like have responsibility :( Boo! I am trying to research how to become an archaeologist. I have always wanted to do that. I know, it's insane, but I am not through learning from this world! Anyway, I am totally rambling now. Blah. I guess only time will tell if I can do the raw foods thing 100%. I hope everyone is well & I look forward to more epiphanies, or something.
Hugs!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Still sick...
Why is that when you make a commitment to do something, that there is always something that universally goes wrong? I mean, I got the schedule I have dreamed of giving me the capability to workout at least two to three times a day. Then I get all sick & am STILL fighting shit off. Ugh!!!
Good news is that the hubby finally sat down & read 80/10/10 to make sure I am not missing something in the world of raw. He basically said I wasn't eating enough foods. Plus he is finally over his sickness & is ready to start working out. My mind & heart are willing, but my body is pissed right now!
Anyway, I just wanted to let everyone know that I will be posting more regularly when I am better & consistently on track. I hope everyone is well!!!
AJ
Good news is that the hubby finally sat down & read 80/10/10 to make sure I am not missing something in the world of raw. He basically said I wasn't eating enough foods. Plus he is finally over his sickness & is ready to start working out. My mind & heart are willing, but my body is pissed right now!
Anyway, I just wanted to let everyone know that I will be posting more regularly when I am better & consistently on track. I hope everyone is well!!!
AJ
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
The Tri Gods are against me
- Or maybe it's the allergy gods? I am not stopped up anymore but get a cough in the middle of the day? So I missed another running day :( I took an allegra & now all is good with the world. I don't have much to say...I am bummed out. WTF? How did my post become a bullet point? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
- Sigh....
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Back in the Saddle
Hello peops!!! Ok-allergy saga over with & back in the saddle. I have nothing but luscious fruits abound & some very fresh greens. Pineapples, plumbs, oranges & the staple bananas.
All I know is that I have worked out really hard this week & I slept for 6 hours on Saturday. I needed it though-I went bike riding & then kickboxing. I still have to run for 40 minutes today & am waiting for my food to digest. I know I have completely veered away from the true origins of this blog, but I have figured out that my journey to true wellness is being hindered by my eating habits. A LOT of this is emotional & mental for me so I need to fall into the food for fuel mindset.
Speaking of...Ever since my cortisone shot on Tuesday, I haven't been able to taste anything very well. It's weird, I can breathe, but it feels fake like when you jump into a pool & water shoots up your nose. So things just taste funny. I think this is the time to really eat all the good for me foods. Alex has been sick & he is finally feeling better.
Anyway, I know I haven't been 100% raw, but I have befriended a new Raw Foods Guru (I just keeping adding them to my list!) She is very sweet & positive & lives in Texas. So I feel confident things are going to fall into place soon. Thanks for hanging with me!
Til Next Time
AJ
All I know is that I have worked out really hard this week & I slept for 6 hours on Saturday. I needed it though-I went bike riding & then kickboxing. I still have to run for 40 minutes today & am waiting for my food to digest. I know I have completely veered away from the true origins of this blog, but I have figured out that my journey to true wellness is being hindered by my eating habits. A LOT of this is emotional & mental for me so I need to fall into the food for fuel mindset.
Speaking of...Ever since my cortisone shot on Tuesday, I haven't been able to taste anything very well. It's weird, I can breathe, but it feels fake like when you jump into a pool & water shoots up your nose. So things just taste funny. I think this is the time to really eat all the good for me foods. Alex has been sick & he is finally feeling better.
Anyway, I know I haven't been 100% raw, but I have befriended a new Raw Foods Guru (I just keeping adding them to my list!) She is very sweet & positive & lives in Texas. So I feel confident things are going to fall into place soon. Thanks for hanging with me!
Til Next Time
AJ
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Cat Conspiracy Confirmed or CCC for short
Ok, Friday I was feeling a bit under the weather. Then on Saturday when I woke up I figured my cats had conspired to all take shifts sleeping on my head. Sunday not much better & by Monday I couldn't breathe very well & started to have a bit of an annoying cough. So I go to the doc & his nurse gives me a shot in hip of cortisone. I am all about being natural, but THANK GOD for modern medicine!!! I woke up this morning & was like - Hell YEAH, I can breathe :) I was MISERABLE...
So needless to say my eating has been off. Mainly because for a while I literally lost my sense of taste. I was like, where did it go?!?!?!? This must really be the time to eat everything that is good for me as I won't be able to taste anything bitter. Ha!! The universe it talking to me again. I can tell you that I did get bummed out because last night was my first tri training day & I had to miss it. As well as miss Kickboxing on Monday. So I took it easy today & just hit up k-boxing. I really Hearts that class!!! I am stinky & sweaty & feel worked!!! Rawr.
Food-Oh!!! Food! Nothing spectacular, but I did get my new books. I am about to read Thrive til I fall asleep. Right now he is talking about how stress affects the body. Blah Blah Blah...I am just so exhausted. Allergies officially suck ass. Anyway, back on the proverbial wagon again. Tomorrow, weights & kickboxing.
Hugs & Kisses!!
AJ
So needless to say my eating has been off. Mainly because for a while I literally lost my sense of taste. I was like, where did it go?!?!?!? This must really be the time to eat everything that is good for me as I won't be able to taste anything bitter. Ha!! The universe it talking to me again. I can tell you that I did get bummed out because last night was my first tri training day & I had to miss it. As well as miss Kickboxing on Monday. So I took it easy today & just hit up k-boxing. I really Hearts that class!!! I am stinky & sweaty & feel worked!!! Rawr
Food-Oh!!! Food! Nothing spectacular, but I did get my new books. I am about to read Thrive til I fall asleep. Right now he is talking about how stress affects the body. Blah Blah Blah...I am just so exhausted. Allergies officially suck ass. Anyway, back on the proverbial wagon again. Tomorrow, weights & kickboxing.
Hugs & Kisses!!
AJ
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Rent is Due
Yes-I am still a renter!! I am ok with that. It's the first of a new month & there are many things to celebrate. I have an anniversary, I am returning to boot camps, I get to budget & watch my debt monkey dwindle, I have joined a new gym & found a new way of eating. Woo hoo!!!!
I realized something today that I don't like talking about. My body is not where I want it to be. For a long time I have been in denial & making excuses for what I do why I do it. That's such bologna & hogwash!!! My thighs have finally taken over the Greater Houston Area & I don't like it. I don't. It's icky!!!! I have finally realized that I don't need to lose weight, I need to lose the baggage that has kept me in this state of denial. It's not about winning a fitness competition, it's not one upping the hussie that works out like Fergie & walks around in spandex, it's about getting healthy. Mind, body & soul. Bring it!!! I used to break down & cry about the sad state of my body, but now I just go ok, you can either keep crying or do something about it.
Things I have done so far to baby step into a new lifestyle:
Many HUGS!!!
JM
I realized something today that I don't like talking about. My body is not where I want it to be. For a long time I have been in denial & making excuses for what I do why I do it. That's such bologna & hogwash!!! My thighs have finally taken over the Greater Houston Area & I don't like it. I don't. It's icky!!!! I have finally realized that I don't need to lose weight, I need to lose the baggage that has kept me in this state of denial. It's not about winning a fitness competition, it's not one upping the hussie that works out like Fergie & walks around in spandex, it's about getting healthy. Mind, body & soul. Bring it!!! I used to break down & cry about the sad state of my body, but now I just go ok, you can either keep crying or do something about it.
Things I have done so far to baby step into a new lifestyle:
- Ok-FUCK going straight raw, I am easing my bitch ass into this until I really feel comfortable.
- I will still drink caffeine until I can gently ease myself off of this drug.
- I found the cutest most adorable 21 year old Raw Foods Guru. I finally met Kristina & she is tiny & looks like she is 14. I almost didn't believe her & thought how could this child at one time in her life have been 15 pounds lighter?!?!?!? Raw foods saved her life!!!
- I joined a new gym that has every aerobics class you can imagine even though the sales rep I had for membership sign ups is a complete douche canoe.
- My beautiful husband that is by my side no matter what. As a matter of fact, he said he'd ask me to marry him today just as I am. I LOVE that man!!
- I am going to give myself a break for once. I have always been my own worst enemy & screw that-way too much wasted energy.
- My friend Mechelle has introduced me to so many cool people & I have now officially found my NEW girl crush...who i have decided to aspire to be like (details to follow).
- I am logging off the internet for a while unless I am stalking some raw foods guru or touching base with my core group of friends.
Many HUGS!!!
JM
Monday, February 23, 2009
The Letter F
Are y'all ever curious about signs? Like you walk out the door & a bird flies past your head. Then when you get to the stop sign that bird is there. Then at work, you walk to your building & the little birdy is following you. Like you might think it's a sign of some sort. I have noticed that the letter F has been following me around a LOT lately. LOL-now it can be dirty, but I am not that crude!
Let's see...Well, my blog is freefromcooking.blogspot.com. So that starts with F. Then I was directed to this great website www.foodnsport.com - again starts with F. My name has an F in it. Fitness starts with an F. Also, food starts with an F which is obviously my downfall, addiction, whatever. But mostly I like looking at the word Freedom. Not to state the obvious, but that starts with an F!!!! Freedom is liberation & liberation means a true zen well being. At least that's my interpretation. Liberation from processed icky foods. Liberation from toxicity. Liberation from my wandering mind. All these things I strive for! I like this F letter. Oh & not to be too cheezy-Friends are great too.
Dang!!! Now only if I knew a numerologist who could interpret my crazy F rantings.
Let's see...Well, my blog is freefromcooking.blogspot.com. So that starts with F. Then I was directed to this great website www.foodnsport.com - again starts with F. My name has an F in it. Fitness starts with an F. Also, food starts with an F which is obviously my downfall, addiction, whatever. But mostly I like looking at the word Freedom. Not to state the obvious, but that starts with an F!!!! Freedom is liberation & liberation means a true zen well being. At least that's my interpretation. Liberation from processed icky foods. Liberation from toxicity. Liberation from my wandering mind. All these things I strive for! I like this F letter. Oh & not to be too cheezy-Friends are great too.
Dang!!! Now only if I knew a numerologist who could interpret my crazy F rantings.
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