I miss my husband & this is why I fell more in love with him

Here is an instant message exchange that we had the other day...He makes my heart really sing...

Jennifer says:
nice
u still there?
Alex says:
jes
Jennifer says:
i am skerred
Alex says:
??
Jennifer says:
bout job
and a little sad
Alex says:
why sad?
Jennifer says:
not sure
i think shopping always makes me feel a little blue
Alex says:
But it's normal to be a bit skeered about a new job interview, but just know that you are awesome, and regardless of the outcome you will still be awesome. Also you don't 'need' a job, so that shold take some of the pressure off.
As for feeling blue, I can definitely empathize, I ran to the plane in Houston and thought I was going to die. And I only ran like 100yards. We just have both gotten wake up calls. Either we can pick ourselves up and overcome, or let our current state define us.
Jennifer says:
true
Alex says:
I'd rather go with option A, as we are better than this, and we can change.
Jennifer says:
yeah...i agree. it's just hard in my state to feel confident because i see myself as fat girl
it's just the gist of today
not overall
Alex says:
I have a big nose, unique features, people consider me 'funny looking' most days. But I don't care. You just need to be comfortable in your skin, for now, and work to change it so you are happy in it tomorrow. You may not feel like you like how you appear, but appearances are such a small part of who we are. We could be burned, handicapped, missing an eye.
Jennifer says:

Alex says:
things could be 'so much worse' when you put it into perspective, that having a few pounds extra really boils down to something insignificant. Not that it's not troublesome, or that you shouldn't feel a certain way, but try and balance it against what you see around you, or what could be so much worse for either of us.
Jennifer says:
you are making me cry
Alex says:
But even if those things had happened, even if you were horribly disfigured by some accident, you'd still be the most beautiful girl in the room to me, and that should always be enough. I've never told you, but you're the first person that ever made me feel attractive. Sure I have always been confident, but it's been in a 'fuck you if you don't like me for me' kind of way.
Jennifer says:
really?
Alex says:
I've had countless people ask me when I will get my nose fixed and I just laugh... they don't get it, but you do. You make me a better man, and I hope, that I make you a better woman. You are my everything... you are the most captivating and amazing person I have ever met. And I am just as proud to have you on my arm now as I was when we first met.
Jennifer says:
thank you baby...i really needed that tonight. i know how you feel, but I really really need this
Alex says:
Hooters is still fail and aids for me, and I never look at another girl... that should count for something? Hell I'm going to the land of whore asians and my only thought when I go to bed is the lingering memory of my hands on your skin, you beatiful eyes looking back at me, and your smell that brings me so much comfort...
You have changed my world, and I am a better man for it... you constantly haunt my dreams and are the last thing I think of when I close my eyes, and the first thing I think of when I wake...
Jennifer says:
i wish i could eloquate as well as you -lol! but all this means the world to me
Alex says:
We're both a bit fluffy, and I felt sooo self concious before I left for my trip when I realized I was trotting around in my skivies when packing... I want to change, for me, but also for you... I want to grow old with you, and living like this isn't going to do it. We're probably both borderline diabetic and we can't become like Brandon and Katie, we need to kick some ass.
I will be your ROCK when I come home, and if you kick ass in the meantime, so much the better... but know that I am with you honey, but regardless of what you feel or think you look, you are far and away the best fish in the sea.
Jennifer says:
lol

thank you baby...i feel your love wrapped all around me like an old comfortable blanket
you are my world & thank you for being my rock.
Alex says:
I did mean what I said though, thank you for loving me...for me... with all my dents and scratches from the years I have lived. You even loved me after getting all scarred up from back surgery... Words never do my heart justice when I try and tell you how I feel and what you mean to me...
Always and forever baby... I need to get working on something right now however, but know you are always in teh forefront of my thoughts and my heart.
Jennifer says:
thank you baby...so much....i love you & I am going to save this im
Alex says:

Jennifer says:
i feel very loved right now & just warm on the inside
Alex says:
me too honey, me too... two sides of the same coin, always...
no leave me alone I'm trying to get to the choppah!! /Ahnold
Jennifer says:

Be Careful what you ask for

Ok, so ever since I have had this amazing emotional & physiological breakthrough, the universe has been a very kind & loving place. I mean, almost simultaneously about four jobs just dropped in my lap. In this economy I am grateful! The other night I felt even closer to my husband because of his beautiful words & how he expressed how much he truly loves me for me regardless of how fluffy I get.

Today I think the Universe was trying to teach me a lesson. So I jump through hoops to get a hair appointment because my hair is really boring me. I have all these appointments next week where I want to look all grown up & polished. I was supposed to go into work from 10-12 & then 7-9 today. But instead the manager decides I am ready to do the closing shift which starts at 3:30 pm. So then that put me in a conundrum because I had my hair appointment at 1 pm. Well I got a little pissed because I said I could open but forgot I had my appointment, so I called back & said I had this appt. Well Ebber Debber mgr says 'I already told Summer.' Like, the 20 minutes that passed didn't matter because she told someone I would work. Long story short it irritated me & then I kept saying I didn't want to go into work.

Fast forward to my hair apt. So I bring in this picture of J. Lo with bangs. I already have bangs so all I needed was to get my hair colored. My hair stylist says 'No problem! We only have to strip your hair & then put toner in it.' Brilliant I say! So all is going well, it takes 2 hours just to get the foil in my hair (I have a tonof hair!). So the next step is to put me under the hair dryer & let the bleach do its magic & strip my hair. Next after that add toner, blow dry my hair & voila' - magical hairstyle appears. Well, that's how it was supposed to go...

Here's what really happened. I get the tin foil in my hair & I settle in under the hair dryer. It's kind of soothing with the low heat & the humming. About 5 minutes into this ordeal, my scalp begins to BURN like someone poured acid on my head. I mean the heat was so intense that I leapt out of my chair & ran across the salon yelling 'ANDRE!!! ANDRE!!!! It BURNS, it BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNS!!!!!!' Andre' is my hairstylist who is African American, dreads & pretty built & Ex-Navy. Oh & totally Gay! I love all that about him, but he looked at me like 'Fool! Whatchoo doing out from under that dryer? It ain't time yet!' Then he realized what was going on. By this time my scalp was literally steaming. STEAMING. Did I mention that my scalp was on fire without the fire?!?!? He reached for his spray bottle & began hosing my head down. Then he rushed me to the wash basins & started ripping tin foil out of my hair frantically & then hosed me down again with the hair wash thingy. It HURT so badly & burned like a mofo. Now I was crying hysterically for several reasons...1) How the hell am I going to explain this one to my boss? 2) OMG BBq sauce this was painful 3) Do i have to go to the dr. on a Friday night?!?!? 4) Triple OMG BBq sauce this was so painful 5) Why the hell does this have to happen when my husband is out of the country & I am inside the loop & live in Katy?!?! 6) Oh hell I don't know, just know there are at least 6 reasons I was crying hysterically.

I finally stopped bawling & gathered myself enough to get into my car. I called my boss first to tell her my incident with hairgate. Then I called my brother whose mother in law happens to own hair salons & said the same thing my stylist said 'Some bleaches don't mix well with metal based hair dye & you can't put them under the dryer' IF ONLY THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN A SIGN THAT SAID THAT OR SOMETHING TO CLARIFY THAT before YOU BLEACH MY HAIR & PUT ME UNDER THE DRYER. My brother met me at my house, looked my wounded scalp over, researched some stuff on the interwebs & then let me know I'd be ok. Just have to run my head under cold water to get all the chemicals out. I took 3 ibuprofen & that has helped.

My scalp isn't on fire anymore. I do have a couple of blisters, but throughout all of this the irony is that my hair is perfectly ok. Ha!!! So then I was like did Uni do this so I didn't have to go to work? Next time can we leave out the pain & burning?!?!?

Ok, that's it for now because I am exhausted & need to sleep this trauma off. I can laugh now as I remember running across the salon with steam flowing off the top of my head. Pretty funny sight when you visualize it.

Peace out Peops!

Karma

You know...I really enjoy my new job. It's autonomous & yet supervised. It's a good blend for me. It doesn't pay much, but hey, I am happy doing it. Also I get to do another job & be nanny to my niece & nephew pretty soon. I am excited about that as well because I will get to bond with them even more & help out my family.

Damn I am a.d.d! I was posting about Karma. So my girl Melissa calls me with an early Christmas present. I won't go into too much detail because some of you don't know the background to this & it's way too much to talk about. BUT, an ex co-worker of mine got her upcomings & you know what? She deserves it. Good will always win in my opinion over evil. Now I know, I am not supposed to be all bitchy & hope for the worst for people, but sometimes there are just mean evil people who deserve the stuff they dish because they wouldn't know good if it hit them upside the head with a 2x4. So why bother? I just pop popcorn & watch it unravel. YES! This is me throwing a Fist Pump to the POWER of Karma. & THANK YOU Melissa for bearing early Christmas gifts. We need to hang out soon because I miss you! Anyway, I say get your Karmic energy in order & do unto others as you'd have done unto you. Life is what you make it so go get it!~!!!

Peace & Love,

Jen

Follow Through

So I want to apologize for starting & stopping different journeys to all my readers. It's not fair to tease you all in such a real manner. My intentions have never been to not follow through, it's just that something always happens. For years I have been really good at making up an excuse for whatever. For instance, last week I was going to replace all soft drinks with water. Sounds simple enough right?!?! Well here is what happened...

For the past two weeks, whenever I eat I get really ill. I feel like I am going to hurl & the only thing that helps with nausea is a soft drink. I don't know if it's the heavy bad for you syrup or if it's the carbonation that makes me feel better. Either way my intent went down the drain faster than drano. I just know in my heart of hearts that I want to just be healthy. I think when I have some $$$ saved up I am definitely going to a professional for nutrition. Why not?!?!? A little guidance never hurts. So I guess I just wanted to say sorry for not having a real adventure yet. It's more like Detour Land. lol!

I start my new job today & am a bit nervous. Even though High Schoolers can do it, I still am uncomfortable in my body & I think that translates into my every day interactions. We'll see how it goes!!!

Peace & Love!!!

How do you do it?

So I am going nuts because my husband left today for his tour of the world - in other words, his first business trip - & I am nervous. He will be gone for a month & I am not used to him being gone. He's my bff & we do everything together & have never spent more than 4 nights apart. I probably need to get over myself, but I can't sleep when he's not here.

If your significant other leaves for long bouts at a time, how do you cope? I really welcome your comments!

Peace & Love

Tag! You're it.

So my friend Tex has tagged me to rattle off 7 random little known facts about myself. In the spirit of cool things to do, here are mine:

1. I've never had a martini. I found out at a young age that I am allergic to alcohol. Ok, before y'all start thinking about calling cps on my parents, I meant when I was doing that kid thing in High School & figured out that the Al-k-haul is not for me. So therefore I have never had a martini.
2. I am insanely obsessed with Sting & The Police. I fell in love in jr. high & never looked back. As a matter of fact when my husband & I went to see The Police in concert, the first thing he did was hand over his wedding ring as a joke, well kind of, ok not really. Not to mention my friends have trained themselves to call me whenever they get a whiff of Sting being on a talk show or performing on t.v.
3. I think that flatulence is hysterical!!! I don't know why, but toots make me laugh so hard I almost pee my pants. Burps run a close second, but farts take the cake. Hahahaha!!!
4. My favorite junk food snack is to take a bite of a snickers bar, throw a handful of popcorn in my mouth at the same time. Crunch the chocolate with the salty & wash it down with Dr. Pepper. NOM NOM. I figured this out in college & not sure why. But I hearts it.
5. When I was four years old I broke my right hand just as I was learning to write. I was ambidextrious for a while.
6. I am a day dreamer. I day dream at all hours of the day - even when I am happy. I have a rather large imagination & if it were appropriate for an adult to truly act like a kid, I probably would.
7. I have hearing like a bat. It drives me crazy. I can hear people blink & when people tap their fingers all the way across a room. I wish I had cooler Spidey Senses, but I am stuck with ears that can hear 5 miles away & in a wind tunnel.

I am supposed to tag other bloggers, but I am not as rico suavey about doing thing with my blog. So if you are reading this, post your fun facts!!!

Peace out!!!

180

This is a nice round number. It's also the number that popped up on the scale this morning. I haven't weighed myself in a while. So I thought since I am embarking on the poor man's version of The Biggest Loser, I needed to weigh in. I am ok with this number. NormallyI'd feak out, but I know things are going to change. I feel like I have a heightened sense of awareness now - like reading labels & using real food to fuel my body.

This morning I got up and felt peaceful. No anxiety & no million miles an hour thoughts. So I drank a cup of organic coffee with organic half & half & blech splenda. But baby steps remember? Then I hopped on my treadmill for the duration of a dvr'd dr. oz show & wrote down my exercise. 2.5 mph:1.388miles:33:38 minutes.

Breakfast: 8 0z of Organic Greek yogurt, 1/4 cup of blueberries & 1/4 organic granola. Not too bad :) I am also trying my vice busting with the water. So far so good. When I kick the soft drink habit it's going to be awesome!!!!

Also, I know I've started & stopped a lot of things. But after reading Half Assed it reminded me that I just have to do it. Or as Nike says - Just Do It!!! It doesn't have to be completing an Iron Man Triathlon, just get it done! I am going to run errands & then when I get back I am going to workout again., Like I said, poor people's version of The Biggest Loser. Lol!!! So, great start to a Monday.

Peace out Peops!!!