Here is an instant message exchange that we had the other day...He makes my heart really sing...
Jennifer says:
nice
u still there?
Alex says:
jes
Jennifer says:
i am skerred
Alex says:
??
Jennifer says:
bout job
and a little sad
Alex says:
why sad?
Jennifer says:
not sure
i think shopping always makes me feel a little blue
Alex says:
But it's normal to be a bit skeered about a new job interview, but just know that you are awesome, and regardless of the outcome you will still be awesome. Also you don't 'need' a job, so that shold take some of the pressure off.
As for feeling blue, I can definitely empathize, I ran to the plane in Houston and thought I was going to die. And I only ran like 100yards. We just have both gotten wake up calls. Either we can pick ourselves up and overcome, or let our current state define us.
Jennifer says:
true
Alex says:
I'd rather go with option A, as we are better than this, and we can change.
Jennifer says:
yeah...i agree. it's just hard in my state to feel confident because i see myself as fat girl
it's just the gist of today
not overall
Alex says:
I have a big nose, unique features, people consider me 'funny looking' most days. But I don't care. You just need to be comfortable in your skin, for now, and work to change it so you are happy in it tomorrow. You may not feel like you like how you appear, but appearances are such a small part of who we are. We could be burned, handicapped, missing an eye.
Jennifer says:
Alex says:
things could be 'so much worse' when you put it into perspective, that having a few pounds extra really boils down to something insignificant. Not that it's not troublesome, or that you shouldn't feel a certain way, but try and balance it against what you see around you, or what could be so much worse for either of us.
Jennifer says:
you are making me cry
Alex says:
But even if those things had happened, even if you were horribly disfigured by some accident, you'd still be the most beautiful girl in the room to me, and that should always be enough. I've never told you, but you're the first person that ever made me feel attractive. Sure I have always been confident, but it's been in a 'fuck you if you don't like me for me' kind of way.
Jennifer says:
really?
Alex says:
I've had countless people ask me when I will get my nose fixed and I just laugh... they don't get it, but you do. You make me a better man, and I hope, that I make you a better woman. You are my everything... you are the most captivating and amazing person I have ever met. And I am just as proud to have you on my arm now as I was when we first met.
Jennifer says:
thank you baby...i really needed that tonight. i know how you feel, but I really really need this
Alex says:
Hooters is still fail and aids for me, and I never look at another girl... that should count for something? Hell I'm going to the land of whore asians and my only thought when I go to bed is the lingering memory of my hands on your skin, you beatiful eyes looking back at me, and your smell that brings me so much comfort...
You have changed my world, and I am a better man for it... you constantly haunt my dreams and are the last thing I think of when I close my eyes, and the first thing I think of when I wake...
Jennifer says:
i wish i could eloquate as well as you -lol! but all this means the world to me
Alex says:
We're both a bit fluffy, and I felt sooo self concious before I left for my trip when I realized I was trotting around in my skivies when packing... I want to change, for me, but also for you... I want to grow old with you, and living like this isn't going to do it. We're probably both borderline diabetic and we can't become like Brandon and Katie, we need to kick some ass.
I will be your ROCK when I come home, and if you kick ass in the meantime, so much the better... but know that I am with you honey, but regardless of what you feel or think you look, you are far and away the best fish in the sea.
Jennifer says:
lol
thank you baby...i feel your love wrapped all around me like an old comfortable blanket
you are my world & thank you for being my rock.
Alex says:
I did mean what I said though, thank you for loving me...for me... with all my dents and scratches from the years I have lived. You even loved me after getting all scarred up from back surgery... Words never do my heart justice when I try and tell you how I feel and what you mean to me...
Always and forever baby... I need to get working on something right now however, but know you are always in teh forefront of my thoughts and my heart.
Jennifer says:
thank you baby...so much....i love you & I am going to save this im
Alex says:
Jennifer says:
i feel very loved right now & just warm on the inside
Alex says:
me too honey, me too... two sides of the same coin, always...
no leave me alone I'm trying to get to the choppah!! /Ahnold
Jennifer says:
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