Spring Cleaning out my Friend Closet

Ok...so my friend Tex just posted on her blog about a friend going away. I am not sure what the circumstances are, but whatever it may be it's for a reason. Then I thought it so coincidental because I was just going through the same thing.

I have a friend who was my maid of honor at my wedding. We haven't seen each other since then - my wedding was 3 years ago. I've tried consistently to set up a visit to see her because I know she is busy & I am trying to get around her schedule. Every time I reach out to her, she makes up some really bullshit excuse as to why she doesn't want to hang out. I have broached her about this & she swears everything is cool between us. The kicker? She thinks I am completely dumb & none the wiser to her ways. I mean, I am sure she bitched about being my moh & in the end, one of my other bridesmaids ended up being a rock star at my wedding. I don't know, the energy just isn't the same. Her life is always full of drama & I love her for who she is, but I am done being rejected & ignored. Fuck it, life is too short to keep being shot down. She makes me feel like I am a burden to her. Why not just say what the fuck you mean?

For example, we went to the very first ACL Fest together & I haven't been since but she has. There have been a couple of times when I have asked her if she is going. Her response? 'Everyone is coming in for this & we have a full house.' Uh....ok. So I guess that's a yes? She automatically assumes that I am asking to stay with her & go together & she just starts rambling about other people & all the plans & who is staying where. It was something we shared & I asked her casually. Then, when she was going thru her divorce, I was there every weekend because I remembered how much it sucked to be alone when you go thru a big break up. I guess I became the expendable one. So, today, I am releasing & spring cleaning out my friend closet. Really she's the only one so far. But I am too old for this shit & life's too short.

So when do you draw the line? Threshold? As I've gotten older, my threshold has gotten a lot shorter. Sometimes I give up on mankind & just go it alone. Anyway, I am a bit bitter & need to write this out so I can let go & move on. I hope all of you have that very best friend that sticks with you through thick & thin. I have yet to find it. My husband is, but that's different. I need that good girlfriend. Sigh...oh well, maybe when I get a job & go back to school that will change :)

Well, have a great weekend party people!!!!

Cleanliness is close to Godliness

I believe this statement to be true. My entire life I have been a slob. No two ways about it, just a big fat slob! Then I married a slob :) Let me clarify, we both love each other, support each other & have the exact same bad habits! I married myself-narcissistic yes, but it works. I don't know how many of you all feel this way, but when your house is messy don't you find your mind wondering over to that area of your life?

Here is a typical day for me (Pretend it's my thoughts talking out loud). Self: So I need to get up first thing & walk on treadmill while clearing out my dvr. Then I need to grocery shop (BLECH) & figure out what to eat. Hmmm...damn, the kitchen needs to be done & I still have to make sure Alex has clean underwear. Plus trash day is tomorrow & I should clean before they come. I think I need a nap, but must fight it. DAMN-now I'm hungry & hate the grocery store so I am just going to grab something to eat & then clean. After I clean, I can plan everything else. Reality: I ease out of bed, & sometimes get on the treadmill first thing in the morning. Sometimes I am too hungry & scrounge. Then I surf the net & waste all my time all the while the aforementioned thoughts still ramble thru my head. By the time I am ready to get stuff done Alex will be home. So the moral of my random thoughts is this - Get your shit done. Once your house is clean, then that never crosses your mind. You have freed up a LOT of time to exercise & meal plan or whatever. At least that is how it is in my situation.

Whatever I have been doing has not been working. Now, on to other things. I made it to the dreaded place this afternoon & to my surprise there were sales on everything. Kroger is where I went. Anyway, my point is this. I bought some (YES-BELIEVE!!) organic chicken legs for about $3.69. Why? The sell by date is tomorrow. So I can cook them up for dinner & have some leftovers. Kroger has manager's specials that will help keep your wallet nice & fat while slimming down your waist. I bought some frozen dinners - Weight Watchers ones on sale too! Moral of this story is that the grocery store has sales too. Look for the manager's specials & (what's the damn word I am looking for?!?!?!) items that they will no longer be selling.

Something else I am finding out is snacking is a God send. I usually want to eat the kitchen table so convenience is a huge thing for me. I have found that salsa (not organic yet-but will get there!) is a great filler. Some true corn chips & I am good to go. It gives me the satiety I need so I don't go through the drive - thru.

Well my friends, I have taken some baby steps & hopefully will be walking soon when it comes to the whole foods. I am going to follow weight watchers online to keep my portions in check & follow Marilu Henner's Total Health Makeover. Her stuff makes so much sense & I can give things up gradually instead of going batshit insane. Also-I took my adrenal gland test & should be seeing my naturopath in a couple of weeks for a follow up!

Peace out & Green Inside