Square Peg Round Hole

Do you ever feel like you are trying so hard to fit yourself into something that just doesn't quite fit? I don't mean clothes either. All my life I have felt like that & I don't like to force things. I think forcing things goes against nature & that ain't right.

I was discussing this with my happy head person & she told me that I am different. I've always known I was different. I mean, my mother is Chinese & my father is white. There's a start. BUT, the one thing I wish someone would have told me when I was a child, is that it's ok to be different. I think my childhood would have been easier. Not in the family sense, but in a peer sense. I don't think my parents understood how much trauma I went through as a child because I tried so hard to fit in with all the cookie cutter white church going people (not knocking anyone who goes to church!). I was the one who didn't have perfect skin, I was the one who didn't go to church, I was the one who had a wickedly fast sense of humor. None of that is wrong, but I didn't know that.

On the other hand, I was raised to not see color or religion. I love that. I feel like I am really open minded & I actually don't mind people who are religious, just as long as you don't push it on me. I'm cool with that.

Now I am just trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. But I guarantee it won't include trying to fit my trapezoid self into a circle. Or something to that effect.