Hmmm....

I'm feeling a bit depressed.  I think I am finally realizing that I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.  My back is all jacked up, I still need to drop some seriously unhealthy fat & I am feeling restless.  I am not sure how or what all this means.  Well, I know I need to eat clean forever, but other than that I am feeling anxious & restless.

I hate that my therapist passed away a year ago.  I STILL have things to fix.  Sigh...I am praying that I find someone that is like her.  Someone who truly understands me.  I'll tell you a secret, I want to quit my cush job.  WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT?!?!?  The only thing I can come up with is that I truly don't want to be held responsible for anything right now except myself.  I want to hole up, cook to my heart's desire & get healthy.  Now...this could play out several ways.  I can cry to my husband who just wants me to be happy.  I can try to push through whatever the fuck is going on.  Or I don't know what else.  See?  I can't see past my nose right now.

I am feeling like cocooning and just emerging and then moving on with other things in my life.  I am still not a great life multi-tasker.  One thing at a time...Sigh...Again...sigh....PLEASE UNI - throw me a bone.  Perhaps some perspective?

Peace out...