Long time no Blog

Well, I got through my month of training at my new job. It's fun & it's nice to make some mad cash! I can finally begin to live the lifestyle I want & be happy about it. I get to finally workout & work towards my rockin' body.

Not too much really going on here. Our poor dog isn't doing well & my husband is a mess :( Shadow's hips have gone out & she can't even walk now. I have a feeling we are going to have to put her to sleep. I don't think I can find it in my heart to get any more pets. It's ok knowing that they will someday leave us, but it's the suffering that sucks. I wish all animals could just peacefully go to sleep and then just never wake up. So I'll keep ya posted about that.

I have had a very interesting visit with my therapist. She helped me figure out food, but I don't want to divulge too much until I get going. So I will definitely post more about that later.

Let's see, we got a king sized bed finally. YAHOO on that!!!

Anyway, peace, love & happiness Peops! I have a headache so I am going to try & sleep it off.

Happy Passover & Easter

Yesterday my brother came over with his kids & we baked Grandma Cecil's oatmeal cookies. There was one ingredient I couldn't read so we left it out. It turned out it was baking soda which explains why all of my grandmother's cookies were so flat. It tickled me pink to realize this. I loved my Jewish grandmother dearly & have many fond memories of celebrating our heritage with her & my Paw Paw. I do also remember her not being able to cook to save her life, but she was precious all the same!

My niece spent the night last night & we 'slumber partied'. According to her it meant staying up past 10:00. lol! Today the Easter Bunny left her some goodies & I also remember as a child celebrating the fun part of Easter. Hunting for Easter eggs!!! So she is all dressed up in her Easter dress waiting for her momma to pick her up so she can go do the same.

The holidays bring back only happy memories. I have to attribute this to my parents always being so laid back & cool & my grandparents bringing the only sense of heritage I had to light. I miss my grandparents dearly & maybe some day I can fulfill the role they played in my life. I hope all the youngsters get instilled in them the importance of grandparents & where they come from.

Peace & Love to everyone!!!

The Serenity Prayer

You know, my happy head person introduced me to this prayer. I am not a religious person, but I do believe myself to be incredibly spiritual. I want to post this as it's a reminder of how life works. Once you can let go of the things you can't control, you free yourself.

The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

My husband came back today & he seems changed to me. Not in a bad way, but in a really good way. I can feel the energy shift in him. It's kinda cool...Well, I hope you all are enjoying your lives & living like you want to. You deserve it.

Peace out!

Asian

Lack of Mojo

So I am discovering where my lack of mojo is coming from, but I am not ready to fully discuss it yet. I am still in a state of denial & refuse to look it in the face. So I thought I'd just post to post. That way when you look at my blog you don't just see Pissed off & bitter.

Pissed off & Bitter

Damn...I had this great emotional release a couple of weeks ago & now I am just one pissed off & bitter woman. I can't even begin to explain all the bad shit that is happening to me. I mean, what the fuck did I do that the Universe is pissed at me? I don't brag, I'm modest & I try to treat others as I'd like to be treated but it doesn't seem to matter.

You know, I've been in therapy for a while & I have to say I wish I'd done this years ago. But the only thing that has ever bothered me is that I've been told the fairytale ended. But how is it a fairytale when it's real? When it's something that is truly intangible? I never grew up wanting or waiting for prince charming. As a matter of fact in my late 20's I wrote men off for good. I was sure I'd die alone. I still may die alone at the rate shit is happening. I am not upset with my happy head person at all - This is definitely not a slight on her at all!!! I need to be clear about this because she is amazing! I just can't figure out what the fuck is going on!?!?!?

I feel like I am being tested, but why? I don't think I can take much more of this. I may do what my friend Ali did & sell everything & go on my spiritual quest. I always thought I'd end up living overseas, specifically England, because I've always been in love with that country. I don't know why, but ever since I was a child I've wanted to go there. Really I have been climbing the walls to journey somewhere where there is a lot of peace & serenity & silence. I hate the city I live in because the people suck here. No one ever takes accountability for their actions & no one gives a fuck anymore. There's no pride in having a job or performing said job. It's sad...

Anyway, I haven't eaten yet & it's already lunch time. Maybe I'll just go drown my sorrows in some Baskin Robbins.

Intuition

So do you ever feel like your inner voice is screaming at you, but you are plugging your ears with your fingers? Sigh...Sometimes it just sucks when you follow your gut instincts & stumble upon truths...I think I may be presumptious, but my gut is telling me it's not so. Only time will tell...

Blogaholic

So I used to despise my blog & now I jut randomly write. Not sure why, but I've posted a million more times this month than any other. Quite possible has to do with my husband being out of the country.

Now on to bigger & better things! Even though my hairstylist scalded my scalp, I have to say that my hair looks fantastic! I mean, true J. Lo spec. I wish I knew how to maneuver my blog better so I could post a pic.

I have been having horrible headaches, but I think it may be sinus crud. Wait, this isn't a bigger & better thing. I think I mainly just wanted to say how fabulous my hair looks after all this drama. Ok, well I hope everyone has enjoyed this fabulous weather!!!

XXOO