i don't think i've been this bored since my dad would take me on motorcycle business trips & since i was a kid really couldn't participate in anything.
i am also incredibly premenstrual...which i have found is not a really good time to join weight watchers - hahahaha. oh well, i am alloted 35 extra points for the week so i may just use them up today. i am doing this all online because the meetings i have found are for people who want to just talk. not all the meetings are like that, but the majority i have gone to in the past were like that & i wanted to pick my eyeballs out with forks by the end.
so i keep going back & forth on getting a job. i think i need to just chill & just be & realize that i am incredibly fortunate to not have to work. embrace it instead of fighting it because i know there are several people out there who are jobless. my own brother got laid off in december...but he is more of a grown up than me & has like 6 months of savings....
alex is about to leave the country in a couple of weeks & will be gone for a month. that is a really long time for us because we've never spent more than 3-4 nights apart. i hate it when he's not here at night, i can't sleep. but the reason i brought this up is he won't be a distraction either. the only time i will be putting on my personal trainer hat is for me. i weighed myself & cannot believe how fat i am. i am not beating myself up, but REALLY? how is that i let myself go? was life so horrible i forgot about myself? i guess the only thing i can truly do is one step at a time & move forward. the cool thing is with rewards points, i got myself a pedometer & a new scale (since mine is broken). so that was free kind of - lol!
anyway, this is what happens when I am bored. i guess i can get back on the treadmill & watch my dvr shows...well, i hope everyone is well!!
love you all!
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