So I can't sleep right now. It's about 10 til 11 pm & I should be asleep. I actually have to work in the morning while everyone else is sleeping in & getting ready for bar-b-ques & laying by the pool. I am ok with working, just that all of a sudden I have become overwhelmed with this feeling of sadness. I am not sure why. Things are in good order. I mean, I let my hair air dry today & I look like Justin Beiber, but other than that I think things are good.
I have my t.v. on a sleep timer because when my husband is away I can't sleep. I am not sure if I ever blogged about this, but I have sleep paralysis. It FREAKS me out & I never know when I am going to get it. The last time I remember (not sure of the time frame) is I thought I was screaming, but only a whimper was coming out. My husband started stroking my hair because he happened to be awake while I was whimpering. Thank God for that! It started in college & rears its freaky head ever so often, but I don't know what triggers it. & yes, I do have the hallucinations. Maybe I should take a sleeping pill...
Right now my blind fat cat Patches is sleeping with me keeping me company along with my Glock 40 snubnose :)
My headaches have subsided, but I am leary of what is going to happen once I get to work.
You know, something dawned on me today. This whole anxiety with food & the extra weight & the self loathing is all due to me. What I mean by that is that if I actually get going & get started, the quicker I'll be closer to what I want. So why (as my friend Tex would say) in the Ricky Bell Hell am I wating around?!!? Baby steps as far as I am concerned. I know that wasn't some ahhhhhhhhhhhhh moment, but it's true. No one else can make me feel bad except myself.
Well, I guess that's it. Short post, but it's helping me get sleepy. Nighty nite y'all.
xxoo
Asian
Hey Jen,
ReplyDeleteI used to have sleep paralysis too but I never knew there was a name for it! I clicked on your link to Wikipedia and that painting of the 'the nightmare' is exactly what it was like. I found if I never ever ever took naps they happened less frequently.
Your comment about the kitty and the glock cracked me up. I think I'm gonna have to quote you on my blog.
Take care,
ali
Hi Ali!!! Tee hee...I would be honored if you quoted me in your blog :)
ReplyDeleteThat's so interesting you have sleep paralysis too. I remember when it first happened, no one believed me. I will take note about the naps.
I hope you are doing well!
Hugs!
Well damn if you are honored to be quoted on a blog I hate to see what happens when I tell you that I AM FINALLY LAUNCHING MY BLOG TALK RADIO SHOW! And I owe all of it to you and your encouragement :-)
ReplyDeleteOh and yes, if your doctor is cool with the idea, get thyself some sleeping pills. They are a GLORIOUS invention.
Awe Tex!!! SO PROUD of you!!! We'll have to catch up soon my friend.
ReplyDelete