Hmmm....

I'm feeling a bit depressed.  I think I am finally realizing that I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.  My back is all jacked up, I still need to drop some seriously unhealthy fat & I am feeling restless.  I am not sure how or what all this means.  Well, I know I need to eat clean forever, but other than that I am feeling anxious & restless.

I hate that my therapist passed away a year ago.  I STILL have things to fix.  Sigh...I am praying that I find someone that is like her.  Someone who truly understands me.  I'll tell you a secret, I want to quit my cush job.  WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT?!?!?  The only thing I can come up with is that I truly don't want to be held responsible for anything right now except myself.  I want to hole up, cook to my heart's desire & get healthy.  Now...this could play out several ways.  I can cry to my husband who just wants me to be happy.  I can try to push through whatever the fuck is going on.  Or I don't know what else.  See?  I can't see past my nose right now.

I am feeling like cocooning and just emerging and then moving on with other things in my life.  I am still not a great life multi-tasker.  One thing at a time...Sigh...Again...sigh....PLEASE UNI - throw me a bone.  Perhaps some perspective?

Peace out...

I'm back :)

It's been over a year since I've posted & I think because I got tired of the same old same old.  Anyway, I have a new blog with two of my friends ThreeFitFriends.  I am writing here today instead of my friend blog because I just feel this is where I need to be.  I haven't read any of my past posts & I am assuming there are a few doozies!

Well, I am still on my weight loss journey, but yesterday my Higher Self started talking & sometimes when she's RIGHT, she never ever shuts up.  I am okay with that.  I NEED her to blab in my ear until I do what I need to for myself.  Right now, I am getting back into eating well.  I did so awesome last year after my last post in 2012.  But then, as I like to say, Life Happened.  Hubs got let go from his job, I freaked & ate everything I could get my hands on - Turns out it was the best thing that happened to us :)

Now, I am just trying to get settled into my new routine/life.  We  moved into town from the suburbs, close to downtown & I love it!  However, with city life comes city people & that is a bit to get used to.  I am working part time as an admin assistant to the property manager for a high rise building downtown.  I dig the vibe downtown.  It's a lot more me than I thought it would be.  So now I have no excuses to not put the right foods down my piehole.  Today I do have allergies & am kind of feeling blech...but I am hungry.  So I am going to go make myself a nice Paleo breakfast & go from there.  Currently suffering from acid reflux, but my dr. seems to think we can get it under control.

I am giving myself 21 days to follow through on clean eating - no cheating.  Then I will revisit exercise.  I gained about 8 lbs from eating out almost every day since we've moved.  Not good!  I feel like crap & it shows.  Well, I think that's it.  I just wanted to jot down that my higher self is taking control for a while.  Love to you all!!!

Hey ya

So, this week has been very naughty in regards to food!  PMS anyone?!?!?  I think my husband is so scared of me, he just buys any type of chocolate & throws it at me as he passes by.  I'm pretty sure he thinks it's for his own safety :)  I really do become a whole different person & I get mean.

Anyway, still kicking around the idea of Paleo Eating.  I'm actually stoked about this.  It's not a diet, just a way of life.  I have almost daily talks with my brother & we discuss such things as Paleo & the science behind it.  Simply put, it's easy, but like everything else, it's a commitment.  I'm ok with that.  I just ordered this to download on our kindle.  So much cheaper than ordering a real book ;). 

Well, not much else to report.  I have not weighed myself since my last weigh in.  I don't want to be a slave to the scale, so I am just going by how I feel.  I hope everyone is doing well.

Peace!

Day 11

Ok, here's the low down on stats:

I've found 2 of the 6 lbs I released, so in all - a 4 lb release.  Which I am happy about because I don't think the cleanse is meant to make you lose weight, it's just a great side effect!

So now I am on to the rest of my life.  I just finished sucking down a Mandarin Orange Spark + My fiber drink.  I can't imagine starting my day any differently because it truly wakes me up, fills me up & gives me great energy!  I get the biggest kick out of sustainable, all day energy.  I sound like an infomercial....LOL!  But the one thing that helps get me through my day is knowing I have found something that works.  Such a crazy, long journey, but it's worth it!

I tend to try to make things harder than they need to be, so I am trying to just absorb & observe what is best for me.  Today is print out Paleo Recipes day!!!!  Here are a couple of rockin' websites I've found:

Nom Nom Paleo
The Civilized Caveman
PaleOMG - I have to say I really enjoy her style of writing & her wit!

I will be stalking these websites like there is no tomorrow.  Anyway, cheers to all things awesome!

Last Day of the Cleanse!!!

Woohoo!!!  Ok, so it's finally over & I completed it.  I am proud of myself.  I'll weigh in tomorrow morning & see what the final lb loss is.  I definitely feel better with better energy.  I don't know if it's the energy drink I'm drinking or if it's just overall good energy.  I will tell you that I had a piece of bread today & got the worst headache.  NO more...for a while.  Blech...

One of the things I noticed is that for the first few days of the cleanse, I had a really weird taste in my mouth.  Almost bitter.  Probably toxins leaving my body.  BUT, the good news is that I don't really crave too many of the bad things anymore.  Which actually says a lot since this week I am in the throes of PMS!  Usually I want to eat everything under the sun, but not lately.  I am sure it has to do with the fiber drink I am drinking. 

Let's see....one side effect is it's hard for me to go to sleep, so I have literally slept til 10 am almost every day since I started the cleanse.  I'm ok with that & luckily I am fortunate enough to not have to be anywhere.  So yeah, my days start around 10 am. 

Overall - a good experience!  I've got a cleanse under my belt & now on to Phase II.  Which is probably paleo eating.  Still researching & figuring things out!  But, I am going to go for a one month healthy eating goal & see where I stand the second week of July.  Hopefully, it'll be one Huge leap in progress, but I'll settle for positive progress. 

Til the next time something strikes me as interesting.  Peace out & within!

Herbal Cleanse - Day 8

Remember when you were in school & it was your last class of the day & all you did was sit there & wait for 3:25 pm to hit so you could get the hell out of school?  Take that feeling & that's how I feel about this cleanse.  I am proud & happy to finish it, but DAYUM a girl has lost patience.  I think I must have some form of ADD, because I am ready to not be cleansing.

Anyway, this morning I am back on the fiber drink & I LOVE it.  I am going to purchase those because it really fills me up & gives me a great start to my day.  Really that's about it.  Same story, rinse & repeat.  Today I've had spark, fiber drink, water & chicken.  That's it folks.  TWO MORE DAYS & I AM FREE!!!

I may pause on the blogging too.  Talking about myself every day is a bit boring to me.  I may pick it up once  a week.  We'll see...

Love you all!!1

Herbal Cleanse - Day 7

Will write tomorrow.  It's the end of the day & too tired to write about anything ;)